Ask Evvy
by CoPpErFyRmAgE
Summary: Evumeimei Snape is a transfer student from Durmstrang, and spends the second half of her sixth year at Hogwarts. She starts a newspaper, and with brains and a few words, she puts the school into utter chaos. ON HIATUS
1. Leaving and Seeing

Ok, a HP fic about Snape's daughter…oh, and emmasnape99, you're gonna be the new Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher, and in the story, you eventually become Snape's girlfriend and then, late on, wife. That was so you didn't spaz when I said her mom was…well, you'll see. 

Chapter 1: Leaving and Seeing

The girl put her hands on her hips and looked at her friend. She brushed away a strand of bright red hair and her blue eyes were narrowed and accusing. "Evvy, get up!" she cried.

The girl called Evvy looked up at her friend, looking amused. Her long black hair was pulled back and her silvery eyes danced. She shook her head. Daena is too stubborn for her own good, she thought. "Aw, come on, Dae," she wheedled. "Surely your toast can wait a few more minutes."

Daena stared at her. "Evumeimei Snape, get up right now!" Her eyes were fastened on the white-blue chair that Evvy was sitting on, and she looked impatient.

Evvy looked down at her book wistfully for a moment, and stood up, stretching. "If you say so," she yawned, and looked around the common room. It was dark blue, and the chairs inside it were almost white. She shook her head, and looked back at Daena. "I'm ready when you are," she said.

"Good," said Daena firmly, and they marched off, Evvy still looking highly amused, as if something hilarious had taken place.

Danae whirled around. "Will you stop that?" she hissed.

"Stop what? I'm not doing anything wrong, according to the Durmstrang Code of Honors," Evvy teased. Daena was always trying to uphold the rules, so much that Evvy couldn't help giving her jibe about it now and then.

"Looking so…so…so…" said Daena, looking frustrated again.

"If you keep frowning, those wrinkles on your forehead will be permanent."

Daena clapped a hand to her forehead, franticly searching for wrinkles as Evvy tied to suppress her snickers. Upon finding none, Daena realized what Evvy had done and chased her friend down the few remaining stairs in the Dining Hall.

The Dining Hall was huge, the walls a dark blood red gilded with silver decorations. There were five long silver tables, and silver goblets and platters filled with food lay upon them. Evvy stared at her table, the Elvdrvarday House, and an image of a bagel came to her mind's eyes. When I was home, I had those, she thought wistfully as she sat down.

Home didn't mean much to Evvy. At age eleven-she was now 16-, her mother had died, and her father when into a rage. He ordered Evvy, her older sister Bryony, and her sister's twin, Amai, to pack up. He sent them off to Durmstrang, and Evvy hadn't seen her father, or her house, since. Since her father supposedly had connections with the headmaster, Evvy and her sisters stayed at school over the summer. When her sister's graduated three years ago, when Evvy was in her third year, she lived with them every year over the summer breaks. Her father sent short and curt notes occasionally, but they were rather boring, and Evvy didn't pay much attention to them. As far as she cared, her father didn't exist.

Today was one of those times when he sent a note. A large brown owl dropped a letter on her plate, which was addressed to her in her father's thin short handwriting. Evvy looked at it skeptically, and opened the letter.

_Dear Evumeimei,_

_As your father, I summon you to the Snape Manor for winter break. I hope you have enjoyed your sixth year at Durmstrang so far._

_Sincerely,_

Severus Snape 

Winter break wasn't that far off; only about a week remained until the holiday. Evvy stared at the letter. Snape Manor. After all these years, she would get to see her own house again, see her old room again. Suddenly her old house seemed so far away, like a distant dream that had almost ceased to exist, but bordered on the edge of reality. She wasn't even sure if it was a home anymore. Her home had been at Durmstrang, or at her sisters' house for almost six years. It would be awkward.

"Evvy," said Daena. "Are you okay? You're not speaking."

"Here, look at this," Evvy said, still in shock, and handed her the letter.

As Daena read it, her eyes widened. "Finally invited you home again, eh? About time to." She looked at Evvy. "You're going, aren't you?"

"I don't really have a choice, do I?" asked Evvy with a lopsided smile.

Daena shrugged. "Her, Cris, look at this." Cris was Evvy's other best friend. He was nice, trustworthy, and pretty daring when it came to it. She and Daena were always trying to restrain him from various schemes, most of which were pretty stupid. He was almost constantly in detention.

"Hmm?" He said. He reached for the letter, but Daena pulled it away.

"Hands," she said, and smiled wryly as Cris rolled his eyes and wiped his hands. "I saw that," she told him.

"Whatever," he said, and snatched at the letter again.

Daena pulled back. "Say it nicely," she cautioned.

Evvy smiled. Daena and Cris were constantly bickering, but Evvy was used to it. It was part of the background noises, just as all the bustling and chattering of the school was when she read. She just adjusted.

Once Cris had managed to secure the letter, he skimmed over it and he looked over at Evvy. "Wow. This is a surprise," he said, stating the obvious.

"Yep," said Evvy, buttering a roll. "It's going to be really awkward."

"I can imagine," said Cris ruefully. "Seeing your own house for the first time in years…"

At this moment, the headmaster clapped his hands. "Ahem!" he called. Everyone turned their heads, besides Evvy. She disliked the new headmaster. Their old one, Karkaroff, had run off, leaving Professor Kvetha to take his place. Kvetha was a short, fat man with curly brown hair and a wide smile that made him look cheerful, and he made bad jokes. He also tried to install life's lessons on everyone at any point of the day.

"I hope you all have had a great semester so far, and made new friends. As they say, good friends will stick with you through thick and thin!" Blah, blah, blah, thought Evvy. Will he _ever_ shut up? "Well, anyway," he said hastily, trying to cover up his mistake of saying something extremely boring, "We have the new exchange student!"

Evvy looked up at this announcement, and a few murmurs went through the crowd. About a month ago, teachers handed out forms for what they called "The Durmstrang Exchange". Evvy, having only seen Durmstrang for the last five or six years-and her sisters' house, of course, signed up. She thought it would be pretty fun. She knew now that thousands of people had signed up, and she wasn't going to get picked, but it would be fun to see who did.

Professor Kvetha pulled out an envelope from his pocket with a flourish. "So, Professor Fendari, will you do us the honors?"

Evvy rolled her eyes at this attempt at imitating a cheesy game show, and was pleased to see Professor Fendari, who was one of her personal favorite teachers look affronted and shake her head, until Professor Kvetha poked her with his wand and she accepted the envelope with a scowl on her face. "So without further ado," she said, rolling her eyes as she spoke, "the exchange student is Evumeimei Snape!" Her face became cheerful as she read Evvy's name. "Evvy?" she said, looking around the room. "Will you please stand up?"

All the color drained from Evvy's face. No, she thought desperately. Oh no.

"Ev, what's your problem?" Daena said, poking Evvy with her wand, not unlike Professor Kvetha. "Stand up!"

Evvy stood slowly, a look of dread on her face. She had suddenly remembered her third year, the day Durmstrang was ending…

_It was the last day of school, and Evvy had been sitting in her favorite armchair, curled up with a book, when Cris tugged at her arm._

_"What?" she had said crossly._

_Cris had paid no heed, and said excitedly. "The exchange student is back!"_

_At this, Evvy had dropped her book and made her way over to a small crowd of students, which she knew now had surrounded the boy Laron Quinil, a seventh year._

_"So Laron," said a shapely blonde who had been practically sitting in his lap. "How was it?"_

_"It was pretty cool," he said, smiling at all the attention. He was tall, with dark curly brown hair and slanted blue-green eyes. The blonde fluttered her eyelashes, and Evvy balked, disgusted. _

_"What about the teachers?" said a brusque voice, which Evvy recognized as her sister Bryony's. Bryony wasn't one to flutter her eyelashes at some random stranger just because he went somewhere 'exotic.' _

_"They were really nice too," he said, frowning at how un-amused Bryony sounded. Evvy smiled. Her sister had curly locks of black, and startling green eyes, and though she was attractive, it took a lot to impress her. "But this one teacher, the Potions teacher, was harsh. Professor Snape, I think it was."_

_"Oh wow," said Bryony sarcastically. "Wonder Boy actually had trouble with something."_

_"The Boy-Who-Lived was there too," Laron said hurriedly, in another desperate attempt to impress Bryony. "I met him."_

_"Oh, amazing," Bryony scoffed, though quietly so only Evvy could hear, but she kept her uninterested look on her face._

"So how was he?" said a brunette, shooting a scathing look at Bryony, as if she was warning her to stop. Bryony had rolled her eyes, but said nothing.

Evvy hadn't made the connection then, but she did now. Professor _Snape_, she thought with dread. My _father_. It's awkward enough going home-whatever _that_ is-for the first time in God knows how long, but going to _school_ with him as my _teacher_? He may not even treat me as a daughter, but as a student, and never anything else.

But it was too late now. She was chosen, and she couldn't do anything about it. She couldn't even tell Cris and Daena yet, because everyone was staring at her, and besides, they probably wouldn't be able to hear her, for the Hall had broken out into applause, and it was too loud to put a word in edgewise. Evvy's face burned.

"Yeah Evvy!" yelled a girl from the Brintonu House. They were pretty good friends, and it made Evvy feel good that someone, besides Cris and Daena, was applauding because they actually knew her.

"Ahem, students" said Professor Kvetha, trying to stop the tremendous amount o noise that was ricocheting off the walls of the hall. Which didn't work.

"SILENCE!"

Everyone was instantly quiet and turned towards the front off the Hall again. "That's better," he said, composing himself into false cheerfulness. "Now, Evumeimei, I advise you to pack up your belongings, for, at the en of Christmas Break, you will not be returning to Durmstrang, but to Hogwarts!" A cricket chirped. "Thanks, and have a nice day!" he said hastily to cover up his bad remark, and sat down again. The Hall resumed it's regular chatter as Evvy sank back down in her seat.

"Congrats!" said a girl from across the table.

"Thanks Selene," Evvy smiled at the girl. Selene was a tall blond with blue eyes, and was liked for her niceness. It was almost like she couldn't be mean.

"Yeah," said Daena, clapped a hand on Evvy's shoulder. Evvy winced. "It should be a blast!"

"I'll miss you guys, though," Evvy reminded her. "Besides, it's not _all_ fun and games. I actually have to _work_, you know." Then she added quietly, "With my father."

Daena didn't hear her, and flapped her hand dismissively at the first comment. "Sure, fine. Turn something fun into work. It's what you do best, after all."

Normally Evvy would have defended herself, but she was too deep in thought to notice.

The next week was a blur of activity. Evvy was either packing, arranging for Daena to take over the newspaper for the time being, studying, or worrying about breaking the news to her father. Or worse, worrying about actually _meeting_ her father.

Finally it was the last day before winter break, and Evvy, Daena, and Cris were standing at the train station where the Underground Floo Network (UFN) let them off. The harsh wind whipped around them as wizards and Muggles-non-magical people-bustled around them. Daena looked at Evvy strangely, then lunged at her, and hugged her fiercely, sobbing as she did so.

"Oh, Evvy!" she cried onto her shoulder. "I'm gonna miss you so much!"

"Daena…strangling me…" Evvy gasped, getting crushed by the force of Daena's hugs.

"Oh," she said letting go, and wiping her eyes on her sleeve. "Sorry. But I am!" she wailed, but Cris grabbed her around her waist and restrained her. Evvy flashed him a grateful smile, which he returned rather awkwardly, for his arms were around Daena's waist and she was clawing at them to get free. Then suddenly she realized that Cris was holding her, and relaxed, looking pleased with herself. Cris didn't let go, though Evvy noticed that he slackened his grip. I always knew those two would end up together, she thought, smiling wryly.

"I'll miss you too," said Evvy, trying not to smirk. "here, I've got something for you." She pulled out two mirrors. "These are three-way mirrors. Breathe on the surface and say the other's name, and they'll appear. I have the third." Inside she was thinking: these cost me so much at the village. Don't you dare lose them. But instead she said kindly, "These are worth quite a bit. Please don't lose them." She handed them the mirrors.

"Which reminds me," said Cris, and untwined his arms from Daena, and pulled out a package. Evvy gasped when she saw the contents.

A red leather book with gold-edged parchment lay inside, with blank pages ready for use. A black quill with a gold nub was next to it, as well as a jar of ink.

"The notebook is a Thought-Journal," Daena explained, satisfied now that Cris's arms were back around her again. "When your hand is tired, think the words, and they will appear on the pages. The pen will make you remember things that you had meant to write, and the ink will wash off any surface, therefore not ruining anything."

"It's amazing," Evvy whispered, and looked up at them, her eyes filled with wordless thanks. "How can I ever-"

"Don't mention it," interrupted Cris. "You've done enough for us over the years. This is _our_ repayment to you, and only a bit of it."

Evvy's eyes filled with tears, and she hugged them both tightly. Suddenly a heavily accented voice said from behind her, "Mistress Snape?"

Evvy whirled around to find a tall expressionless man in a black suit and tie. He had neatly combed black hair and a handlebar mustache. Evvy composed herself before saying imperiously, "Yes?" A giggle escaped from Danae.

"I am Julius, if you please, your chauffeur," he said, bowing serenely. "If you will allow me to carry your belongings?"

Evvy handed him the gifts and her trunk, and turned back to her two friends. "Bye you guys. Don't forget the mirrors."

"We won't," whispered Cris.

Evvy turned back to Julius. "I'm ready," she said, sounding braver than she felt.

"Good." Julius and Evvy walked over to a sleek black car. Evvy turned back before entering it, and saw her two best friends with their heads on each others shoulders, tears streaming down their cheeks. Evvy sniffled a little bit, and before she could cry, she gave a quick little wave, sat down, and the car zoomed off into the darkness.


	2. Many Views and Many Places

Wow, this is great! Three reviews for the first chapter… 

_**Jinxeh:** Well, it's not going to be too father-daughter-y, not to burst your bubble or anything. Since Snape's not the touchy-feely type of guy, so it's kinda hard, if you catch my drift. I looked at your profile, and you're the only person that I know who read Define 'Normal'. Great! I like your clothing habits XD. Where do you get them? I love making my parent's lives miserable too. Wow, I feel loved. About the Mary-Sue comment. Well, more like the non-Mary Sue comment. Anyway, the very first story I wrote was such a Mary Sue it's disgusting. I'm thinking about deleting it. DO NOT READ IT. _

_**Syl Rose:** I'm happy you like it so much! Anyway, about Cami, I'm trying to type it, but somehow I get bored. It's sucks. Anyway, this and that are the two stories I will work most on. _

_**Emmasnape99:** -blushes- I'm so happy. I didn't see any of the new person spoke thing, but maybe my eyes are deceiving me. I'll try my best. And the sentence thing, I promise I'll get better at that. The more chapters I write the more details, and so on, thankfully. I know, I do too. I hate hurting people's feelings, but my friends are very blunt, and since I talk so much-trust me, if you went to my school, you'd know-I'm used to criticism, except it's more like "Melissa, shut up" than criticism. And you pronounce it: Ev-oo-me-me. At least that's how I say it. It's from a Tamora Pierce book, the name. _

_Now, for the chapter._

Chapter 2: Many Views and Many Places (sorry. I suck at titles)

Evvy drummed her fingers on the car door. It had been hours since they had left the train station behind, and Juliusinformed her that there will still many hours more to go. She had tried everything imaginable to amuse herself; practicing spells-until she turned Julius's hair green, talking to Cris and Daena-until they had to go to dinner, and reading her books-until she almost memorized each and every word. She had gotten food from local stores along the way, so she wasn't hungry, but that didn't make any _less_ hungry for something to do.

It had begun to rain, and Evvy pressed her face against the window in a desperate attempt to see outside. It was practically the only thing left to do. The rain pattered against the window so hard that Evvy couldn't see a thing. She resigned herself do sitting and doing nothing. She wondered what was happening at Hogwarts right now…

….

Actually, at that moment, the Hogwarts headmaster was making an announcement quite like Professor Kvetha's, except that it was dinner time, and Evvy wasn't there, along with the entire populace of Durmstrang.

"Ahem!" he called out, his blue eyes twinkling. The headmaster, Professor Albus Dumbledore, was quite old and had a long silver beard that hung almost to the floor. He wore spectacles, and his eyes searched the golden Great Hall until every eye was upon him. Then he looked skyward-literally, since the ceiling portrayed the condition of the outdoor sky, and smiled.

"I am quite delighted to inform you that like three years ago, we will be receiving a exchange student from Durmstrang! The student is in their sixth year, and they will arrive the day after break finishes. Just like the previous student alternated sleeping in Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff-" those were two of the four Houses in the school "-this student will alternate between Gryffindor and Slytherin. I trust that you will all be nice and considerate to this new girl or boy, and make them feel welcome here. That is all." Everyone blinked, and resumed eating their pastries.

"It's just because we care so much that we're clapping and cheering," yelled a boy from the Slytherin table sarcastically, a scowl on his pale face. He had blond hair and blue-gray eyes that didn't sparkle. They were as cold and as hard as rocks.

A girl form a different table looked up at the noise, saw who it was, and frowned. "Screw you, Malfoy," she muttered, and took a bite of a treacle tart. She had large bushy brown hair and soft chocolate eyes.

"I heard that, Mudblood!" Malfoy called out, grinning sardonically.

The girl rolled her eyes and turned back to her friends, indicating that the Malfoy boy wasn't worth bothering with.

"So who do you think it'll be?" said a boy on her right. He had startling green eyes and messy black hair that hid a thin lightning bolt scar on his forehead.

"I hope it's Krum!" said the boy on the girl's right excitedly, waving his arms around and knocking over his gobbler in the process, turning the spot of tablecloth in front of him a bright vivid orange, as orange as his hair was red. He ignored it as it began to spread. "I hadn't really gotten his autograph correctly. I mean, it was only a napkin-"

"Oh, Ron," said the girl exasperatedly, as she shook her head. "Can't you go one meal without _spilling_ anything?"

"Nope," he answered cheerfully, his brown eyes wide with innocence. Then he looked over the girl's shoulder at the green-eyed boy. "Harry, who do _you _think it's gonna be?"

The boy named Harry looked up in surprise, shrugged, and tried to swallow the mound of food in his mouth. He choked on a particularly large chocolate chip, and gagged. Ron looked alarmed, and slapped his friend on the back until the chocolate chip went down safely. "Thanks," Harry gasped.

Ron shook his head. "No problemo, mate,"

"_I_ hope it's a girl," said the girl happily. Then she wrinkled her nose and added, "It's getting to boy-ish around here anyway."

"Oh, come off it Hermione," said Ron. "Just because you're a girl doesn't mean you're better than us."

"Oh really?" said Hermione, flaring up at once.

"Yep," he continued, not sensing the danger. "They're nicer, stronger, smarter-" even Harry snorted at that one "-and they like sports better, which is why we need Viktor Krum!" he announced.

"Krum's not even in school anymore!" Then Hermione turned pale. "Besides," she murmured. "If he did come, he'd think that I still like him," Then at her friends questioning looks, she added hastily, "Which I don't."

Meanwhile, over at the Slytherin table, Malfoy and his friends were talking about the exchange student too.

"I bet it's a girl," Malfoy announced. "Whenever something good happens, it's a girl."

The boy next to him snorted. He looked remarkably like Malfoy, except he had green eyes instead of blue. "Of course _you_ would say that, Draco," the boy said. "You have every girl in this school-except Granger, of course-eating out of the palm of your hand." To prove his point, a pug-faced girl with brown hair and a pouty face came up behind Draco.

"Drakey-poo! You didn't save a spot for me!" she said fretfully. Then she looked at the boys on the other side of Draco and yelled, "Move over! _I said,_ MOVE OVER!"

The other boy smirked.

Draco leaned back and said, "Yeah, I guess you're right, Blaise," Sighs came from all over the table, and the pug-faced girl glared at them as she sat down. Draco turned and looked at he. "Pansy! What are you doing?"

"I'm sitting next to you, that's what," she said, trying to look pretty and failing miserably.

"You're right," Blaise muttered. "If it's a girl and she can get Pansy away, I say she _is_ lucky."

"Students, bedtime!" Dumbledore clapped his hands. "Those who are leaving for break, follow me!"

….

Severus Snape sat in his study, leaning back in his chair. He had convinced Dumbledore to let him stay home during the break. He didn't think he could stand staying in the miserable old castle a minute longer, let alone an entire break. Besides, his daughter was coming-thought Dumbledore didn't know that, of course.

He didn't exactly know why he invited his youngest daughter home after all these years. Maybe it was because he hadn't seen her for so long that he had forgotten what she looked like. Maybe it was because he wanted to have more of a family than just himself. Maybe it was because he was finally ready to let go of his wife. Or maybe it was a mixture of all three; he didn't know for sure.

He knew his letters were insufficient when he sent them, and quite boring. But truth be told, he didn't know what to say. And he was scared. Scared that his daughters would bring back memories he had hidden in the deepest, darkest depth that he could find. He didn't want to remember and lose Sora all over again. Sora. His eyes welled up at just the mention. He stuffed those tears away, and tried to remember his daughter. Evvy. Her eyes…her eyes were the only thing he could recall. Deep silver eyes, the eyes of Sora, the eyes that he couldn't bear to see, so he threw locked them away. Locked them away at Durmstrang. So much joy they brought…and so much sorrow. He wanted the joy back. But not the sorrow. All he could do was wait.

….

Evvy peered out the window again, squinting with all her might. The car turned sharply, squashing her face against the glass pane. The wheels rolled over cobblestones as the feeling of apprehension of what she would find increased. A scene flashed before her mind: _Jumping, laughing, down the road, stopping, turning to look at her mother, her mother's soft brown hair and silver eyes._ Those silver eyes were so much like her own that they startled her out of the reverie, and back in to reality.

Tall black wrought-iron gates barred the rest of the road, over the black car that was shiny with rain. They glistened with the droplets, and at the very top, a silver calligraphy S adorned the center. With the screeching sound of un-oiled metal, they opened slowly, admitting the vehicle and it's two passengers. Evvy gulped as the car halted.

A huge gray castle with thousands of tiny towers loomed over her, looking more like a prison than a home. A few lights flickered in the windows menacingly, like dancing ruby eyes. There were huge oak doors with heavy bolts across it. Evvy pulled her cloak tighter, and stepped out into the night.

She gasped; it felt like a thousand buckets of ice-cold water were being dumped on her head at the same time. Trying to get out of the rain, she stumbled forward blindly, up some stones steps, nearly slipping twice. She grasped the handle of the door and pulled, cursing when she remembered the bolts. She struggled to lift them and the door swung open just enough to let her through. It slammed behind her, leaving her in a huge stone hall. It had no light, save for a fireplace at the very end of the hall. She pulled out her wand, and whispered "Lumos!" It lit immediately, and she held it high to see the hall in the light it cast.

There were doors on either side of the hallway, and Evvy stepped forward. She slowly undid the clasp on her cloak and slung it over her arm. Each clunk of her boots echoed in the hall. She stopped; it was a silent as a grave.

Suddenly she heard a scratching noise, and she whirled about. "Who's there?" she called out, and immediately wished she didn't. Her voice echoed off the walls loudly. She bit her lip, frightened slightly.

"Miss?" said a small voice tentatively. Evvy looked around wildly. "Down here, miss."

Evvy looked down and saw a smiling house elf at her feet. His pillowcase he wore was pretty clean. Evvy was glad to see her father took good care of his servants. "Hello," she said, feeling foolish.

"I am Kribbits, miss," the elf said, bowing. He winced, and straightened abruptly. "And you are Miss Snape! Kribbits is pleased to meet you!"

"Are you okay?" Evvy asked, concerned. "You look like your back hurts."

Kribbits touched it gingerly. "Kribbits is old, miss. Old makes back hurt."

"Oh, ok. Then I should get you a healer," Evvy supposed, frowning.

"No, no. Miss Snape is too kind," he told her.

"It's Evvy," she told him.

"Miss Evvy, if you don't mind. I must stay in practice," Kribbits said.

"Ok," agreed Evvy grudgingly, and changed the subject. "You have great grammar and speech, better than most house elves I know."

The elf bowed once more. "Again, Miss Evvy is too kind. Master Snape wants all his servants educated. He says we sounds more imp…emp…" He struggled with a word.

"Impressive?" suggested Evvy.

"Yes." The elf puffed out his chest proudly, and Evvy restrained a giggle. "I'm so sorry Miss," the elf smacked his forehead. "May I take your coat?" he said, holding out a hand.

"Thank you very much," she told him, and carefully put her cloak in his outstretched hand.

"Master Snape wishes to see you to see you in his study. Come, come, Miss Evvy!" He scampered down the hall with Evvy following as she tried not to smile.

Kribbits stopped at the second to last door. "Master is inside."

"Won't you come?" said Evvy. She was a bit worried.

"No, Master wishes to see you alone." Kribbits bowed again. "When you leave, I will be here to show you your room, Miss Evvy!" There was a loud crack as he Disapparated.

Evvy opened the door and stepped inside quietly. Light and warmth was over her and she looked around the room. It was green, with many bookshelves filled with thousands of books. Evvy itched to touch them, but restrained, and looked around again. There were a few squashy red armchairs with small wooden table next to them which were perfect to read in. But the biggest thing, and most ominous, was the huge desk in the center of the room. It was strewn with paper and quills, and there was a big swivel chair with its back to her.

Evvy swallowed and whispered, "Father?" The word tasted weird in her mouth.

change to Snape's POV

He heard her come in and could barely breath with anticipation. The word 'father' was music to his ears, and he turned around to face her. He choked back a sob. She looked so much like her mother. Her hair was his, of course…midnight black, like almost all Snapes. But her creamy skin and silver eyes, the way she held herself…she was Sora.

back to Evvy's POV

The huge chair turned around, and Evvy found herself looking into her father's eyes for the first time in years. He had long black hair cropped just below his chin, and his dark brown eyes bored in to hers. He was pale, but it fit in with him, thought on many others, it would have made them look sallow. He was clad in black from the neck down.

"Evvy?" he said. The word seemed to catch in his throat, and his voice wavered, as though he was trying not to betray emotion.

Evvy was rooted to the spot. It was her father. _Her father._

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Sorry for what?" she managed to croak out.

"My letters," he said, half grinning. "They were horrible."

Evvy's face broke out into a wide smile, and she rushed around the desk and threw herself into his arms. She had _parents,_ or at least, _a_ parent. He seemed surprised, and recoiled at her touch, but he ended up stroking her hair.

"You know what?" Evvy whispered, breaking away.

"What?"

"They _were_ horrible."

….

Once she had left, Severus mentally slapped himself for being so emotional. What the hell was I thinking? I'm usually like this! But he knew that there were a few times in his life when he would be emotional, and that was one of them.

But he reprimanded himself all the same. He was always cold. Ever since Sora died, he had become a rock, a stone, so hard that no one he knew could penetrate the surface. Even when he was screwing someone, he never got emotional. Just as cold and hard as always (wait…I didn't mean the way that came out…). But how could someone as small as his daughter break through the shell like it was putty that had been sitting in the sun for hours?

Well, it wouldn't happen again, that was for sure. Nobody, and he meant _nobody_, was going to get Severus Snape to open up again.

But he did have a particular soft spot for the girl. She would spend time in his study reading while he did his work, occasionally asking about this or that. He taught her a number of spells, and he even help her redesign her room when she found out that she didn't exactly love unicorns and pink ponies anymore. All in all, this winter break had been the best so far.

….

Evvy sat on her bed, sipping a hot cup of cocoa that Kribbits had brought her. Winter break had gone by so fast, and she had had a great time getting to know her father. She spent days exploring the old mansion, and hadn't gotten through the entire thing yet. The top floor, where her room was, and half of the fourth floor was finished, but she still had more left to go. I think I'll take the passageway out of my room to the ground floor and give the empty mug to Kribbits-then she stopped, sitting down on her bed with a thunk.

It was the second to last day of break, and she still hadn't told her father about the exchange student thing. I better not put it off any longer, she thought miserably, and found the passage in her wall and slid down the slide. A second later, she emerged in the hall she had entered on her very first day. She tapped a nearby house elf on the shoulder and it turned around, eyes wide.

"Hi, Miss Evvy!" It squeaked, giving her a toothy grin. This one was not Kribbits, but a different-girl-elf by the name of Neeka.

"Hi Neeka!" Evvy said, and bent down. She had learned that if you are a creature's height, they don't fear you that much. Besides, it's much easier to look straight than up. "Can you put this in the kitchen for me? I would do it myself, but I have an appointment with my father." It was a half-lie; she sort of did have an appointment with him, one she had put off for far too long.

Neeka took the cup and said wisely, "Don't get your hopes up. He won't be very happy." Then she scurried off, and disappeared with a bang.

Evvy stared at the spot she had been in. House elves have their own magic, and just like they can Apparate and Disapparate at will, some can prophesize, thought most don't tell anyone unless they know the person is trustworthy. Neeka was such an elf, and it was a mark of her trust in Evvy that she revealed the secret. But Evvy hadn't liked this prophecy much, and as she headed into her father's office, she kept her fingers crossed for good luck.

"Hi Dad," she said, plopping down into her favorite armchair.

He looked up exasperatedly. "Evvy, not now," he said.

"Actually it has to be now," she said, twining her fingers nervously.

Severus sighed and looked at his watch. "Fifteen minutes."

"Ok," said Evvy. "WelltheresthisexchangestudentthingatDurmstrangtogotoHogw-

artsforthesecondhalfofthisyearandigotpicked." (Translation: "Well there's this exchange student thing at Durmstrang to go to Hogwarts for the second half of this year and I got picked.") She took a deep breath, and hoped to God her father had not understood a word of it.

Unfortunately for her, Severus Snape had excellent hearing, and his eyes narrowed menacingly. "What do you mean 'I got picked'?" He hissed.

"Well, I signed up," she said softly, shrinking back into her chair.

"'Signed up'!" he roared, her face purple with rage. He stood, toppling over his chair. "WHY?"

"I thought that it would be fun," she said so quietly it was almost inaudible.

"Fun? _Fun?_ You think the place I spent sixteen years working at is _fun_?" He spat out 'fun' like it was a disease. "All right, if it's _fun_ you want, go upstairs, pack your crap, and get back down here to go to your _fun_."

Evvy high-tailed it back to her room, packed quickly, and came back five minutes later, lugging a bulky trunk behind her. Snape grabbed it away from her and attached a small note to it. He heaved it into the fireplace behind him, and before Evvy could do a thing, he grabbed her and stepped into the emerald flames, and bellowed one word:

"Hogwarts!"

Well, I personally liked this chapter, even though it's a filler…Kribbits, don't you love the name Kribbits for a house elf? It has a sort of ring to it…anyway, there's a tiny little button down there that's begging you to push it…so push it!

_Mel_


	3. No, tell us REALLY who he is

_Ten reviews! Muy bueno! _

_**Emmasnape99:** Yes, it is. I love the name Kribbits. It has such a ring to it…-dances off happily singing, 'Kribbits, Kribbits, Kribbits…"- ahem, sorry about that. I also liked the cold and hard thing too. It made me laugh just as I was writing it XD. Yeah, freakishly, it didn't come out. And my email. Well, my parents are paranoid about spam and stuff, so I can't receive any email from anyone not on this allow this allow list, or whatever. It's completely stupid. So I can send emails, but unfortunately, you can't send them back . And if what you said in the Snape family thing is right, you have blue green eyes, are short, and have brown or blond hair (I can't remember). Well, I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as you did the last!_

_**Lady D:** Yep, TP fan all the way. I have only one fanfic using her though. Cami of Scanra. Yeah, he probably wouldn't. But there's this weird thing about me. I has name stages. Like, you know, how when you were little, you used to always be a princess, and then you changed to a bunny or whatever? Well, that's what I do with names, and when I started this, I was going through a slight 'Evvy' name stage, while now I like the name 'Sage'. And thank you. _

_**Maliaphire:** Thanks. And of course, Kribbits IS the best name. Yeah, I made it so he would. I thought he had been a bit soft through most of the chapter, and I needed to add more menace, do you think? I've seen your reviews for other stories. You seem to know almost all of them. The stories, I mean. Yeah, whenever I read a TP fic, there's somebody, somebody, **maliaphire**, somebody, somebody…_

_**Dracos-naughty-lil-girl:** Nice un, btw. –blushes- aw, thanks. I like mixing touchy-feely stuff, with angst, humor, and romance. I like stories like that. And yes, his house elves ARE educated, but I don't think he educated them himself. Sorry. Anyway, who do you like better, Snape or Draco? Jw…And I don't believe it either. Not because-I'm sorry-I love him, or he's my favorite character, it's because I read a story here called Where Is the 'Malfoy' in 'DA'? and Snape was good. I started believing peoples' thoughts here. That's how I got Draco and He-wait, that'll give my story away! Btw, that is a great story, if you don't mind slashes. _

_**Syl Rose:** Yes, I think he's a pretty good character to work with, Snape. He' s like Draco; seems mean and cruel, but if you add a tragic past in there somewhere, you can work with it and make him a great character, kind, and everything. No, Snape is not evil in this story. Yes, I meant it to be that way. At first, I was thinking of changing it, but then I thought that it would get some laughs, so I kept it and add the parenthesis thing. _

_**Jinxeh:** True, so true. I'll have to read that story. Yeah, at first, I was going crazy, 'Gryffindor or Slytherin? Gryffindor or Slytherin?' kept running through my head. So I finally went with both. And yes, there will be tons of fun, I assure you! Cheerleaders and jocks…what complete total idiots. It's like you want to scream in their faces, "Football and pom-poms aren't life!" But of course, being the way they are, they won't listen, and will become drunk, beer-swilling, second-hand cars salesmen/prostitutes when they grow up. Excuse me if anybody in fanfiction are one of them, I'm sure you're very nice. Cough-not-cough. Jk. Yes, that is funny. Lol. I think he's a good character to work with, see above review answer. Yeah, Snape is nice enough to keep them clean and educated, but he can't trust them enough to let them go. And yes, we must laugh at the letters…Mwahahahahhaahaaa…excuse me. And sure, I'd look to be in a C2! ._

_**Darkjdeg:** Thanks! And they are in sixth. Though I like JK's writing, she needs a teensy weensy bit more humor. So I will give it to her in form of this story. It's not that funny in the first few chapters, as you can see, but when the newspaper comes…dun dun dun dun dun! _

_**Zeetah:** Thanks! And Evvy is a name from TP's winding circle books, btw._

_**Rachael:** I can't type your un. It's to long. And the screwing thing, well I thought it wouldn't be bad. I mean, after all, it IS rated T. And my first story sucked so bad it's scary. Don't ever mention it again. I don't wanna go to school! –runs up to room sobbing-_

_**Zerrin of the Wind:** Oooh thanks! I love this story too! _

_Now for the best part: the actual chapter._

Chapter Three: No, tell us REALLY who he is.

Dumbledore hummed to himself absently as he held up a pair of thick, woolen socks he had received for Christmas. It was nice to know that somebody-Madam Rosemerta, it said on the gift tag-appreciated the value of good socks when they saw them. He threw his long silvery beard over his shoulder, but was distracted by a large thump.

He frowned, and stood. A trunk-rather ashy at that-had fallen out of his fireplace. Dumbledore bent down and peered at it through his half-moon spectacles. A trunk? Was it another Christmas gift-albeit a late one? And what could he possibly do with a trunk?

Suddenly a large amount of hacking coughs erupted from the hearth, and Dumbledore straightened. Somebody must have dropped by. But with a trunk?

His eyes beheld a strange sight. The Potions Master, Severus Snape, his black hair streaked with soot, stepped out of the fireplace and into Dumbledore's office, scattering ashes everywhere. A girl, about sixteen by the look of it, stood in front of the professor, looking confused and surprised. She dusted off the black robes she was clad in, and looked around the office, fascinated.

"Why hello, Severus," said Dumbledore pleasantly, hiding his astonishment. It is always polite to act like you are expecting someone, even if they are unexpected, he reminded himself as he kept a straight face. "I wasn't expecting you for a few more days, at least."

"Yeah, well, there were circumstances," muttered the professor, shaking out his robes.

Dumbledore leaned forward. "Such as?" he inquired.

Snape kept his mouth firmly shut.

"And who, may I ask, is this delightful young lady who appears to be so fascinated with my office?" Dumbledore pushed his spectacles further up his long crooked nose and peered closer at her. She had long midnight black hair, creamy skin, and unnatural silver eyes that shined with delight as she leaned forward for a closer inspection of the headmaster's phoenix, Fawkes.

"She's the exchange student," said Snape, and pushed the girl forward roughly, almost knocking her off her feet. She glared at him, and Dumbledore wished dearly to do the same, but he kept his pleasant expression.

"And he," said the girl, jerking her thumb back at Snape, who was giving her warning glares, "is my father."

Dumbledore's eyebrows went up. _Way_ up. "_Father?_" he said, dumbfounded.

"Father," the girl repeating firmly as Snape sent her a scathing look that could have peeled paint.

"I was under the impression, Severus, that you had no children," muttered Dumbledore, mostly to himself. Unfortunately, the girl heard.

"WHAT?" The girl whirled around to face Snape, her face red. "You told him that-"

"Severus, we will have to continue this conversation later," Dumbledore said, interrupting the girl's rant. "But not now. Need I show you the way out?"

"No," he muttered, and disappeared into the emerald flames.

"How'd you do that?" asked the girl, apparently fascinated by the way he had handle her father.

"Many years of authority, and a good deal of practice," replied Dumbledore, smiled slightly. He reclined back in his armchair. "Please, take a seat," he waved his wand, and a chair appeared in mid-air and settled on the floor with a small bump. The girl took a seat, the angry expression she looked her father with present on her face. "So."

So." The girl shot back, then she remembered that she wasn't speaking to her father. "Sorry," she muttered, hanging her head.

Dumbledore waved his hand. "Quite alright," he said. "You are the exchange student, correct?"

"Yes."

"And Severus Snape's daughter too, I presume?"

"Yes."

"Why did you go to Durmstrang?" At her suspicious look, he smiled gently and said airily, "Just wondering, just wondering…"

"Well, when I had just turned eleven," She swallowed. "My…my mother died, and my father went, well, almost crazy. Her ordered me and my sisters to pack, and her sent us off to Durmstrang. Until this week, I hadn't seen him for five or six years."

"Sisters?"

"They're twins, three years older than I am. Bryony and Amai."

"I give you my regrets," he murmured. Then he added hastily, "For your mother, not the sisters." That made the girl crack a smile. "What is your name?"

"Evvy, or Evumeimei."

"Ah. That was one of my students favorite names. I remember her quite clearly." Dumbledore looked off in the distance, as one often does when remember a favorite, whether it be a cat, or a student.

"What was her name?"

"Sora. Sora Linlo."

"That was my mother," Evvy whispered, and looked away.

"So, so sorry," Dumbledore bowed his head for a moment, then looked up, his face cheerful. "But let's look on the bright side! You're here, aren't you?"

"Yes…"

"So welcome to Hogwarts, Evvy!"

….

They walked down the revolving stairs at a brisk pace, not slowly a bit as the gargoyle that served as a door hopped aside. Evvy craned her neck around the old headmaster, trying to see everything at once. It was just so…so…_different_. They waited for a moving staircase, then hurried down it, though Evvy had no idea what for.

"Headmaster," she gasped as they continued. "Why are we in such a hurry?"

"Because," he said as leisurely as if they were taking a stroll in the park, "I am hungry, and when one is hungry, they usually hurry to the place where they are going to eat."

"Oh," said Evvy, feeling foolish.

They descended down a grand staircase that looked like it hadn't moved for ages into a large hall. At each corner of the room, stood different hourglass, each a different color.

"Those hold the house points," explained Dumbledore. Then he threw open a large set of double doors.

Evvy gasped. They stood at the entrance of a huge golden hall. The ceiling portrayed a starry sky, and it was so life-like that Evvy felt she could reach up and pluck the moon out of the sky. There was a single gold table in the center of the room, and teachers and a few students were seated around it.

"Welcome to the Great Hall," said Dumbledore, and they walked towards the table, him confidently, Evvy apprehensively. He clapped his hands for attention. "This is our exchange student Evvy, everyone."

There were mixed reactions from everyone. A dumpy teacher in bright green robes gave her a cheerful wave, while the others sat there and smiled awkwardly. A few of the students chorused, "Hi Evvy," like good little students, and went back to eating.

A bushy-haired girl said, looking confused, "I thought she was arriving later," while a red-head next to her elbowed her, and told her that it didn't matter, she was here anyway.

A boy with blond hair and pale skin shouted out, "I knew it was a girl!" to no one in particular, while his friend that looked almost like his twin gave Evvy a small smile and went back to staring at his half-empty plate.

"You may sit," said Dumbledore, stating the obvious.

Evvy spied an empty chair between the shouting blond boy and the bushy-haired girl and quickly plopped herself into it.

"Well, since our honored guest here has no notion of how we do things around here, who would like to give an explanation?" asked Dumbledore, once he too had been seated.

The two on either side of Evvy waved their hands around in the air, sending glares at each other as they did so. The blond boy's friend also raised his hand, though instead of waving it around like a maniac, he was quiet and serene about it.

"Blaise, I think," chose Dumbledore, and the bushy-haired girl and the blond boy put their hands down, looking disappointed, while the boy called Blaise, the blond boy's friend, began to explain about the various aspects of Hogwarts.

Once the boy-Blaise, Evvy supposed-finished explaining about the four different houses, she asked curiously, "What house are you in?"

Before Blaise could speak, Dumbledore said, "This gives me an excellent idea! Why don't we go around the table saying our names, years, and houses?" Everybody groaned, but Dumbledore ignored them. "Blaise, why don't you go first?"

"Blaise Zabini, sixth, Slytherin," said Blaise. He had emerald green eyes, and hair so blond it was almost white. Evvy looked at him curiously, but his eyes were shadowed, as though they held secrets, dark secrets.

"Draco Malfoy, sixth, Slytherin," announced the blond boy who had shouted proudly. He had blue-gray eyes, and while most people would think he was conceited and cold, Evvy saw in his eyes that he was more of a person who tried to live up to expectations, and liked nothing better than fooling around and laughing.

"Hermione Granger, sixth, Gryffindor," said the bushy-haired (it was brown) girl. She had honey colored eyes, which were busy glaring at Draco. Ah, thought Evvy. Our first Gryffindor. She obviously goes by first impressions, and by the look of it, our friend Draco here didn't give a particularly good one. She looked like she liked school a lot. Maybe even a bit more than most.

"Harry Potter, sixth, Gryffindor," said the next boy. He had raven colored hair and bright green eyes. The boy who lived, Evvy mused. Interesting.

"Hey, you skipped me!" shouted the red-head. He had a ton of freckles, brown eyes, and a load of a temper.

"No need to tell us, we're not blind," muttered Draco. The red-head didn't hear him, for he continued to glare at the table. "Well, get on with it!" said Draco, louder this time. "We don't have all day!" Still nothing. "Weasley! You obviously have no voice, as well as no brain, and just like no money!" Draco shouted, thoroughly annoyed at this point.

The boy turned bright red. "Malfoy…" he snarled.

"No need to fight, Ron," said Harry. "Just say what you need to say."

"Ron Weasley, sixth, Gryffindor," he muttered.

Draco threw up his hands. "He speaks!"

"Next, please!" said Dumbledore hurriedly, trying to prevent anymore arguments.

Her Thought-Journal-which was residing in her pocket at the moment-tingled as they went around the table, taking down all the information. After Ron, there was a pompous Hufflepuff, Ernie Maci-whatsit…a few more Ravenclaws, all in second year…another Slytherin third year…another Gryffindor fourth year, and that was it.

"So, Evvy," said Harry as they began eating the turkey, trying to make pleasant conversation. "What house are you sleeping in the first week?" Everyone leaned forward at this, and Evvy felt herself turning red.

"Er…" Evvy said, her mind racing. Luckily, Professor Dumbledore answered that question for her.

"I think her father would prefer her to stay in Slytherin for the first week," he said smoothly. He hadn't realized what a big mistake he had made until _after_ he made it.

"Why? Who's her father?" asked Hermione hotly.

"Welcome to Slytherin!" yelled Draco at the same time.

"What's up with all these 'welcome' things? This is like the fortieth time someone's said that!" said Evvy crossly, as she mentally slapped herself and Dumbledore for that stupid, stupid mistake. She really didn't want anybody to know her father's identity besides the teachers, and now she had no choice."

"Who's your father?" repeated Ron stubbornly.

Evvy looked around uncomfortably, even noticing the teachers looking at her intently. She looked at Dumbledore, and he inclined his head slightly as permission.

"Severus Snape," she said quietly.

Everyone roared with laughter, pounding the table with their fists. Even one teacher that looked quite strict-Professor McGonagall, she thought it was-was smiling slightly.

"Right," said Draco weakly, wiping his eyes. "Now, tell us who he _really_ is."

"Severus Snape!" Evvy repeated loudly.

"Ok, that's old now. Will you please tell us who your father is?" asked Hermione exasperatedly.

"It's true," said Dumbledore quietly. At this, everyone looked stunned.

"She can't possibly-" began Professor McGonagall.

"She is."

"Really?" said Hermione, looking skeptical. "Snape's your father?"

"_Professor_ Snape," corrected Dumbledore, but Hermione just rolled her eyes and waited for an answer.

"Yeah, he is," said Evvy tiredly.

"Then where've you been all these years?" asked Harry.

"Durmstrang."

"Who's your mother?" asked Blaise abruptly. The others looked at her questioningly.

"She…she died five years ago," said Evvy softly.

"I'm so sorry," murmured Hermione, and flung her arms around Evvy. She didn't resist.

Blaise looked horror-stricken at his plate. "I never should have asked,"

"You couldn't have known," Evvy said, her voice muffled by Hermione's robes. "None of you could've."

"I know how you feel," said Harry, apparently trying to appear sympathetic. "My parents died when I was just one."

"Knock it off, Golden Boy," snapped Draco. "Stop trying to get attention. Nobody wants to hear your story again. 'My parents were killed by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named on a dark stormy night long ago…'" He said, waving his hands around.

"I was just trying to help," said Harry, miffed.

"You don't _help_. You never _help_. The only person you supposedly _help_ is yourself as you draw attention to your poor helpless self," Draco said scathingly.

"I take it you two don't like each other," said Evvy, looking at both of them. She had let go of Hermione.

"Make that two," Ron growled.

"Three," added Hermione.

"Oh, this is just peachy," said Evvy sarcastically. "I'm alternating between two rival houses, both of which hate the other's guts, while my father is the head of one. Oh, so _grand_."

There as long silence as the four glared at each other.

"Well, I'm gonna _make_ you like each other," said Evvy finally, figuring out something.

"Rightttttt…" said Draco, smirking. "And I'm the Queen of England."

"Headmaster, is there a newspaper at this school?"

Dumbledore shook his head, eyes twinkling.

Evvy muttered something under her breath about 'poor, deprived children.' "Well, then I hereby pronounce Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, and Draco Malfoy as the new staff of the newspaper of Hogwarts," Evvy said proudly.

"Done," said Dumbledore, banging his knife on his plate as if he was a judge.

"It's settled then," said Evvy, satisfied.

"I'll be another member, to help even out the Gryffindors and Slytherins," volunteered Blaise.

"Great! Is there anybody else that needs to stop hating the Gryffindors in your house?" Evvy asked him.

"Well, there's one…"

"Oh no Blaise," said Draco warningly. "Not-"

"Pansy Parkinson," all five of them groaned simultaneously, all in the same level of disgust on revulsion.

"That's sounds good," said Evvy. "I'll tell her when she gets back from break. After all, how bad can she be?"

"You don't even want to know," groaned Draco, his head in his hands.

"There will be a meeting of the present staff members in-" Evvy frowned. She had no idea where anything was.

"The Room of Requirement?" suggested Harry. "We can meet in the Hall, and I'll show you guys where it is."

"Perfect! Here, tomorrow, at one o'clock." Evvy then busied herself with a piece of turkey.

"I like the way you think," said Professor Dumbledore. The other teachers were too shocked to speak.

Evvy grinned wolfishly. "Why, thank you Professor,"

The five new-instated staff members knew the sound of doom when it came to it, and scowled.

….

Evvy opened the door to the girl's dormitory in the Slytherin House. The entire room was vacant, as no Slytherin sixth-year girls had stayed. Evvy sat down heavily on the extra bed at the end, looking around her. It was eerily quiet, and she felt alone.

She had an idea, and grabbed her trunk, some sheets, and a pillow, and dragged them out into the common room. She found a large couch near the fire, and set up a bed there. Heading into the bathroom, she quickly changed into a pair of silver and green plaid pants and a plain form-fitting silver shirt (her father had picked out the colors). She then went back to common room, and sat on her 'bed'.

Draco Malfoy entered wearing a pair of green pants-no shirt-and wolf-whistled playfully at her. She whistled back, just for fun.

"Think I'm hot, do ya?" he said, strutting around the room like an over-excited peacock. "Sexy?"

Evvy couldn't help but laugh at him. When he came in front of the couch, she stopped laughing and slapped him on one cheek (on his face, not his ass). He gasped in mock pain.

"Stop living in your dream world, Wonder Boy," Evvy smirked.

"Ooh, jealous," Draco teased.

Evvy smiled sweetly and slapped the other cheek.

"If you weren't a pureblood," he said, half-smiling. (A/N: In my story, the Snape family line is old, and goes back generations, and blah blah blah, you get my drift.)

"But I am. Not to mention the tiny fact that our fathers are pals, and you're my father's godson. Get my drift?" Evvy winked.

Draco rolled his eyes and went back into his dorm.

Evvy pulled her mirror out of her trunk. She breathed on it and said, "Daena." Her friend appeared.

"Hey, I'm at Hogwarts," Evvy said, smiling at her friend's familiar face.

"Sweet! What house?" she asked.

"Slytherin and Gryffindor."

"Huh?"

"Never mind," Evvy laughed. "Here, want to meet two of my friends?"

"'Kay."

Evvy turned and screamed, "Blaise! Draco!"

"What?" said Draco irritably. "I need my beauty sleep, you know." He was followed by Blaise, who as usual, said nothing.

Evvy tugged at his cheek as he sat. "Ah, munchkin, you wouldn't get any prettier no matter how much sleep you had."

"That hurts."

"Too bad."

"Ev?" Daena called from the mirror, sounding worried. "You still there?"

"Whoa, who's this?" said Draco, and he and Blaise peered over her shoulder into the mirror.

"Daena, meet my friends Draco and Blaise. Draco, Blaise, Daena," Evvy introduced.

Draco whistled for the second time that night. "You got a fine friend there."

"You're pretty fine yourself," Daena flirted back.

"Quit it, you guys," said Evvy, smiling.

"Ah, do what you always do, spoil our fun," said Draco, shaking his head.

"You know, even though I've known you for about four hours tops, I could swear that you are two…" Evvy said to Draco.

"Very funny," he pouted, and left.

"Hey, Ev, I gotta go," said Daena.

"Bye." Evvy set down the mirror on the table, its surface now reflecting the flickering embers of the fire.

She looked up to see Blaise sitting in an armchair, gazing into the flames, his emerald orbs glossy.

"Hi," she said cautiously. When he still didn't say anything, she said angrily, "Don't you _ever_ talk?"

"Maybe I wait until I know somebody before I start chattering away," he shot back with surprising velocity, his eyes boring into hers.

"Look, if you think I'm trying to steal away your best friend, seriously, I was just fooling around, okay?" Evvy said, and stared back into his eyes. They shimmered, but Evvy couldn't read anything. Yet again, she got that feeling that he was hiding something, something important...

"Whatever," he finally said, and go up to leave.

"No, wait," Evvy said, desperately wanting things to be okay.

He turned back, surprised. "What?" he asked suspiciously.

"Since we're in the same house, shouldn't we be friends?" Evvy asked.

He sat back down, this time, next to her. "Ok, I guess. SO what do we do?"

"Uh…tell each other about ourselves?" she suggested. It was a stupid suggestion, and they both knew it.

Blaise smirked. "Ok. My name is Blaise Zabini and I'm sixteen years old…"

Ok, pretty long chappy, dontcha think? Anyhow, hope you enjoyed it! And don't forget to press that tiny button down there! XD

_Mel_


	4. Writing Samples With BIG Surprises

Disclaimer (yes, I'm actually doing this now): I have never owned HP, and probably never will. Though it would be cool. Besides, why do people put these? We all know nobody here owns the stories.

I'm putting the review answers at the bottom from now on, so I hope you don't mind! Well, the plot is brewing, and I want you guys to like it, so here it goes!

Chapter 4: Writing Samples…with BIG surprises

Evvy stood outside of the Room of Requirement with her miffed and disgruntled staff, including Pansy Parkinson who had been dragged out of her house for the meeting. Evvy was ready to tear her hair out. Everyone had squabbled from the way there, getting in a surprising amount of fights in ten minutes.

"So what do you do again?" she asked Harry, to make sure she didn't do anything wrong.

"You walk past the wall three times, thinking about what you want," Harry shrugged, quite bored after the eventful fights in which he had collected a large amount of scratches.

"So detailed, so detailed," said Draco sarcastically, reduced to insults by a room where anyone could reach in and pull out any number of things hat could harm him quite a bit.

"What was that, my wonderful staff member?" Evvy asked him, her voice dangerously sweet.

He quailed before her. "Nothing, nothing," he said quickly.

"Good. Now where was I?"

"The Room of Requirement," said Hermione, trying to be helpful.

"That was a rhetorical question."

"Sorry," muttered the girl.

"You should be," Evvy grinned. Oh, she _loved_ being in charge. She walked in front of the wall, and strolled back and forth, thinking furiously, _I need a newspaper staff room…I need a newspaper staff room…I need a newspaper staff room…_

Soon a tall wooden door materialized in front of them.

"Ha! I told you so!" yelled Harry, pointing at it. When he realized that everyone was staring at him, he lowered his arm and muttered, "Oops." Draco rolled his eyes.

"It worked," said Evvy, a bit surprised.

"Of course it did," said Harry, miffed. "When have I ever sent the wrong way:

"Well, there was that time in the first year-" began Hermione, smiling.

"-when you agreed to the Wizard's Duel-" said Ron, catching on. (Woo hoo, it rhymed! Said Ron, catching on…ahem)

"-and we nearly got eaten-"

"-by that three-headed dog-"

"But we weren't," said Harry. "Besides, it was all _his_ fault." He pointed at Draco, who just smirked satisfactorily.

"-not to mention-"

"-the prophecy hall-"

"-where-"

"Don't even go there," said Harry, his eyes gleaming behind his glasses.

"Oh. Yeah. Sorry," said Ron, hanging his head.

"Can we go in now?" asked Pansy Parkinson. "This standing around will make my hair go frizzy." She fluffed it, looking worried.

Evvy rolled her eyes, and seized the door handle. She smiled; the room was like a small staff's dream come true. There were plenty of bookshelves, and tons of parchment, quills, ink, and all the stuff necessary for the writing of a newspaper. There even was a shelf dedicated to-she couldn't call it anything else-spying devices. It had mirrors that showed everyone and anything she needed-good stuff for a newspaper, as well as a map that showed everyone in the school, and when she tapped her wand over it, it said what they were doing and a tiny image also appeared (Yes, this would be considered a Marauders' Map. But since the Room gives you what you want, there was instantly another copy, with new and improved features.). There also was a huge ebony table in the middle with seven seats.

Everyone rushed to get seats, and Evvy sat calmly at the head, Blaise at the other. One side had three seats, and the other had four. You might think the obvious solution was to have the Trio on the three seats, and Draco and Pansy on the two, but nooooo, thought Evvy. They had to do it the hard way.

Harry and Ron dived for the two, leaving poor Hermione to sit over with the Slytherins. Draco ended up in the middle seat, with Pansy on his right and Hermione on his left. Harry, who was sitting across from his friend, flashed her a forgiving smile, but she just glared at him as she and Draco scooted to the edges of their seats. Well, at least Hermione did. Draco sat rigidly in the middle of his seat, looking as though he wanted to get no closer to either of the girls on the sides of him.

"Oh, come _on_," said Evvy exasperatedly. "You're not three anymore. You both know that neither boys nor girls have cooties." She directed this last comment at Draco-who relaxed slightly-and Hermione-who reluctantly headed to the middle of her chair.

"Cooties?" said Pansy, looking confused. "What's cooties?"

Evvy rolled her eyes. With Pans here, it looked like she'd being doing it a lot lately.

"Cooties are contagious disease that a girl gets if she is touched by a boy. Like this," Draco leaned over and poked Pansy, grinning maliciously. She screamed.

"Icky sticky disease is on me! Get if off! GET IT OFF!" she yelled, slapping her arm and searching her purse frantically for sanitary wipes. She didn't seem to hear the outrageous laughter coming from the surrounding staff.

"Good one, Draco," Evvy said, wiping her eyes.

Pansy had apparently just found her wipes, and used about thirty trying to get the 'contagious disease' off her. She sighed, finally having got 'it' off her. She frowned. "Why is everyone laughing? Did I miss something?"

"Nothing," said Ron quickly, and everybody stopped laughing and hastily said they had all caught a coughing bug.

"Oh."

"Now, back to business," said Evvy, grabbing a clipboard she had found on the shelf. "Since I'm the editor-"

"Wait! Who said _you _were the editor?" interrupted Ron.

"I was the only one who volunteered, _remember_?" Evvy hissed through clenched teeth. She was really getting tired of this interrupting business.

"Blaise volunteered," defended Ron stubbornly.

"Ok," she said, and turned to look at Blaise. "Blaise," she began slowly, trying to keep her temper under control. "Would you like to be the editor?"

"It was your idea," said Blaise, shrugging. "You're the editor."

"Hear that?" Evvy snapped. "_I'm_ the editor."

"On the other hand," said Blaise, smirking. "That's quite un-editorial like behav-

"Shut it," said Evvy, grinning. "Now as I was saying, before I was so _rudely_ interrupted-" she glared at Ron, who smile back sweetly "-since I am the editor, I request you all to write a sample for me, so I can test your skills. Now, it must be longer than one page, but no longer than two. So, get to work!"

They all grabbed some parchment, quills, and ink and for the next hour or so the air was filled with the familiar atmosphere of quills scratching, paper rustling, and coughs and sighs. Evvy smiled as she drew the layout for the paper.

It wasn't going to be like most newspapers, saying how classes are, and such. Evvy personally found that quite boring, so when she became editor of the Durmstrang newspaper, it all changed. What it would be was pretty much a gossip part, a sports page, a few other things, and her personal favorite, Ask Evvy. Ask Evvy was a relationship answering editorial when people send her letters about relationship problems, and she chose one and put it in the newspaper, along with the answer. She answered the ones that weren't published too, of course.

Finally, the time was up. "Everybody done?"

"Yeah," they chorused, and handed her the papers. With disastrous results.

Harry's Sample 

There once was a boy named John. He loved Quidditch. In fact, he love it so much, he was obsessed about it. He decorated his room with his favorite players' posters, and fell asleep at night from the swooshing noises of their brooms. He was also the captain of his house's team, and the Seeker. He was a master at the broom, and spent his days doing thousands of tricks. He was the number one player, and his team knew they could count on him. He also had good sportsmanship, so when they lost, he was kind about it. Though they never lost, because he would always catch the Snitch before the other team could score.

Evvy hastily changed papers. She had never met anyone more obsessed. Looks like we found our sports editor, she thought grimly.

Ron's Sample 

I went outside. I saw a gnome. I bent down. It bit my finger. I screamed. I smashed it against a rock. It let go. I grabbed it. I went inside. Mom cured my finger. The twins laughed at me. I got angry. I turned red. I threw the gnome at them. It bit Fred's nose. He screamed. I laughed. Mom yelled at me. Fred bashed his nose against a rock. It let go. It ran away. Fred couldn't tell. He smashed it again. He screamed. His nose was broke.

Evvy buried her face in her hands. She couldn't read anymore of it. She went to Pansy's paper.

Pansy's Sample

I am pretty, so pretty that I won an award. It was for the most beautiful girl in the world. Which is me, of course. I went to the mall and bought forty beautiful outfits, and wore the prettiest dress for the rest of the day. Boys stared at me as I walked down the hall, and four asked me out. One asked me to marry him. I went to a spa and came back looking more beautiful than ever, if that's possible. I went home, and ate lunch. I am so thin because I am on a diet. I went to the bookstore to buy the second copy of the diet book, and boys fell at my feet. As usual.

Evvy stared at the girl. No way, she thought, and moved to Draco's sample.

Draco's Sample 

My favorite season is winter. I like it because we get to stay here and there is a ton of snow. I like playing in the snow. I also like winter because during break I can explore the castle and find all sorts of new things, like secret passageways or storing rooms. Winter is also fun because Pansy usually leaves and I get to stay at Hogwarts without her, while when I go home, I would be forced to spend the entire break with her. And Crabbe and Goyle aren't here. They follow me around and are really stupid. Another reason why I like winter is…

What did he think this was, an evaluation essay? If that's the type of essay here, Evvy didn't want to stay. She looked at Hermione's.

Hermione's Sample 

It was the first day of the big test, and Rowena was excited. She had her lucky necklace on, and she was really excited. She hoped she did well. She got up really early, but was too excited to eat. She couldn't wait.

"DON'T YOU GUYS HAVE ANY TAL-" Evvy began to scream, but stopped herself just in time. True, the samples were completely horrible, but that was no excuse be mean. Just then, Blaise handed her his parchment.

"I just finished. Here," he said.

Evvy opened. She covered her hand over her mouth and gasped. Her gleamed wit tears and anger. She looked up at him. "Is…is this true?" (A/N: No, it wasn't anything about her or anybody else at school. Just a hint.)

Blaise nodded and looked away.

Evvy folded it up and put it in her pocket.

"What does it say?" asked Harry curiously.

"Yeah Blaise, show us," added Pansy, craning her head over Evvy's shoulder as though to look through her pockets.

Blaise's eyes were wide, and he shook his head frantically.

"No, you can't," said Evvy.

"Why? He's my best friend!" shouted Draco.

"Am I showing your sample to everyone?"

"No, but-"

"_Am I?_"

"No," he muttered.

"Good. I'm glad you understand. Now, all of you, follow me." Evvy strode out of the room.

….

"I thought you had to be seventeen to get your Apparating license," complained Ron.

"In Durmstrang, you get it at sixteen," Evvy said.

"Hermione, is that true?"

She nodded.

"Okay everybody, link hands," Evvy said.

She ended up holding Hermione's hand in her left, with Ron and Harry next to her, and Blaise's in her right, Draco and Pansy next to him.

"Ready everyone?"

A chorus of yes answered her.

"Here it goes…"

….

They were thrown backward, and a rushing sound filled their ears. Suddenly, they were blinking in the harsh sunlight.

"Evvy," said Harry carefully. "Where are we?"

Evvy looked around. They were standing on big plastic boards-surfboards, she thought-surrounded by water. She looked up and saw a huge wave crashing on them.

"Everybody go surfing, surfing USA," sang a peculiar voice in front of them.

They turned to see a squat little man in shorts standing on the boarding front of them.

"Who are you?" Hermione screamed to be heard above the roaring crashing sound.

"_What?_" he yelled back.

"I said, _who are you?_" Hermione repeated.

"Honanu Goldni, at your service!" he yelled, smiling at them. "Sorry about interrupting your Apparation process, I just thought you guys should ride this sweet wave! Talk about surfing, dude!" He leaned over, and motioned for them to do the same. They swerved, and found themselves to be in a huge tunnel of crashing water. "Bend your knees!" he yelled.

"What's 'surfing'?" asked Ron curiously.

"It's that," said Evvy, her face deathly white as she stared at the monster wave crashing, creating bouts of bubbling and curling water.

"Should we trust him?" asked Draco.

The man bent his knees and zipped in front of them. The exit of the tunnel was getting smaller by the second.

"We have no choice," Evvy said quietly. Then she screamed, "Bend for your lives!"

They all bent their knees and moved fast, faster than they had ever moved in their lives. But Evvy feared that it wouldn't be fast enough. She was right.

Sure enough, the waves crashed on top of them, careening them underwater. Panicking, they thrashed about, using up what little air they had left. After what seemed like an eternity, they were washed up on the sand, gasping for breath.

"I'm alive!" shrieked Ron, and collapsed on the shore.

"Noooooo! My hairrrrrrrrr!" yelled Pansy. Evvy, yet again, rolled her eyes.

The old man walked by them, dragging his board. "Nice try, dudes," he said, grinning down at them. "Better luck next time!" He strolled by them towards ocean, whistling merrily.

"That man," gasped Blaise, "is crazy." And with that, he rolled over.

"Wrong place," Evvy muttered, grabbed their hands, and they disappeared again.

….

They appeared, yet again, on a beach, but in a different place. Yes, they were still dripping, but it was dusk, and the sun was just beginning to set. They stared in awe at the pinks and oranges as it sank slowly, in inch by inch over the horizon. Palm trees swayed and swished in the distance.

"Wow," breathed Hermione. "It's beautiful."

"I'm cold," complained Ron.

"Shut up," snapped Draco. "I'm watching this."

Evvy flicked her wand at all of them, drying their clothes and restoring them instantly back to perfection.

"This is your inspiration," Evvy said as they all stared at the breath-taking scene.

They all sat on the warm sand, watching as it got darker and darker. Evvy laid her head on Blaise's shoulder happily, and he absent-mindedly stroked her hair. Draco leaned against them, and soon everyone was huddled up together as they watched the beautiful sight.

"This is the most beautiful thing I ever saw," said Pansy in a voice full of awe.

"Quiet," said Ron, not unkindly.

They all smiled, and the sun disappeared below the edge of the world. They all gave a start, and jumped apart hastily, dusting off their robes.

"Did you guys like it?" asked Evvy, smiling a bit.

"Like it?" Harry gave a bark of laughter. "We loved it." No one disagreed.

"Back to Hogwarts," Blaise said regretfully, and they all joined hands silently and disappeared.

….

Evvy decided to keep her couch bed, even though Pansy was here. Even if she had slept in the dorm the first night, she would have instantly made a couch bed anyway, and for a good reason too. Not only was Pansy obsessed with her appearance, she snored too. She shuddered.

Laying down on the couch, she tapped her quill against her chin idly. What to do, what to do. She could talk to Cris and Daena, but she didn't feel like it. She pulled out the map from the Room of Requirement, and looked at it.

She found the dungeons, and smiled. Her father was back. When she tapped the dot, a picture came up of him making some dangerous potion. Then she checked the DADA room.

A dot was moving around in it labeled Professor Emma Russon. Emma Russon, eh? She thought, and tapped it. A huge blob of words came up. "Emma Russon," she read aloud, "is a half-blood 25-year-old who graduated from Durmstrang with degrees in Herbology, Charms, Potions, Transfiguration, and Defense Against the Dark Arts. Hse has brown hair, gray eyes, and is a bit on the short side for an adult. She enjoys reading, inventing spells-as well as finding old and forgotten ones, and going to exotic places. She ha a great sense of humor, but her biggest pet peeve is being let down. She enjoys a romance with a challenge."

A challenge, Evvy thought slyly. My father's a challenge. Maybe I could set them up!

Who else could I set up? Ron and Pansy, Draco and Hermione, McGonagall and Dumbledore…Evvy grinned and grabbed her Thought-Journal and wrote these ideas down.

For fifteen more minutes, she wrote down her ideas. But who to start with first? She thought. I'll save my father for last. But…I could go and see him and Professor Russon to see if they are alike.

With that decided, she put her robes on over her pajamas, and shoved the map in her pocket. Draco stuck his head out of the boys' dorm room. "Whatcha doin'?" He asked.

"Just going to say hi to my father," she said, thinking fast. After all, it wasn't exactly a _lie_, was it?

"Ok." He disappeared.

Evvy left the House, and pulled out the map again. Hmmm…there should be a passageway near here…She turned the door and saw a painting of an old monk. He looked up and waved at her.

She walked up to it. "Hello," she said cheerfully. "Are you Monk Chamblo?"

He smiled. "Why, yes I am, little lady," he said, chuckling in a deep rich voice. "What can I do for you?"

"Well, on this map, it says you guard a passageway to the lower dungeons. My father works there, and I was hoping to say hi. Do you think you could let me through?" She looked up at him hopefully.

"Why, of course-"

"Oh, thank you!" she said happily.

"-but you need the password."

"Password?" she wrinkled her nose.

"Yessiree, password."

She looked down at the map and saw herself standing in front of the painting. A little word bubble was by her mouth. She squinted at it. It read 'Nocturnaliosus.'

"Nocturnaliosus," she said, and beaming, the monk's painting swung forward.

"Come back soon!" he called, but Evvy was already on the slide and descending down towards her father's office.

A thump told her she had hit the other side. She pushed forward and a section of the wall swung forward, and she found herself outside the Potions classroom. She smiled, and looked back at the map. She turned a corner and went down a corridor until she saw a large door with a shiny nameplate that read 'Severus Snape'. She knocked timidly on it.

"Who's there?" said an angry voice.

"Evvy."

"Evvy?" it sounded surprised, and she heard someone walking to the door until it opened to reveal her father.

"Hi Dad," she said cheerfully, and he held the door open for her as she walked in.

"Hi Ev. You know, I really don't have time right now for a chat, so if you'll-"

"It'll just take a moment," she said.

He sighed. "Oh, all right,"

"I just want to apologize for springing the exchange student thing on you. It wasn't fair." She hung her head.

"Well, I guess I overreacted a bit myself," he said, and sat down. He motioned for her to take a seat, and she happily complied. "So what have you been up to?"

"Well, I started a newspaper," she said slyly.

"Really? How?" Her father leaned towards her and she told him about all the adventures, including the one today. When she finished, he ran a hand through his hair. "You've certainly been busy."

"Yep," she said. "Now, it's close to bed, so I better get going-"

"Yeah, okay," he said, and held the door open for her. "It was nice seeing you."

"It was nice seeing you too, Dad," she smiled, and he closed the door.

She rubbed her hands together. Now for the DADA teacher.

….

Evvy knocked on the door, and she got the same response as her father's-though not as angry: "Who's there?"

"Evvy," she said.

"Evvy?" said the teacher. "I don't know an Evvy."

"I'm the exchange student," she told her.

"Oh," the door opened to reveal a woman about an inch taller than her. She had long wavy brown hair and twinkling gray eyes. She smiled. "Come on in."

Evvy walked inside and looked around. It was a fairly big room, and a huge desk faced a window. There was a table off the side with a few books, and two chairs. A mug of tea sat in front of one, steaming slightly.

"Take a seat, take a seat," said Professor Russon. She swept off the books and papers with a flourish of her wand, and smiled. She had small dark circles under her eyes, as though she had stayed up for quite a bit. Evvy sat, and Professor Russon sat across from her. "So what can I do for you?"

"Since I'm new here Professor-"

She waved a hand. "Call me Emma," she said, smiling.

"Okay then, Emma, I was just coming to meet all the teachers," Evvy said.

"That's very nice, but I'm afraid I'm not that interesting," She laughed, a sweet noise that sounded like little bells ringing.

"Don't be hard on yourself. I've heard a lot about you."

"Oh really? I hope it was good things."

"Well, I know that you like inventing spells. What have you invented?" Evvy asked, interested.

"Well, I'm working on making a spell called the Maliaphire Spell, which makes the user able to breathe fire for a day." (A/N: Maliaphire, I hope you don't mind the use of your username!)

"Cool! How far have you gotten?" Evvy asked.

Emma smiled, and opened a book. "Well, I've written my progress down here," she said, pointing to the page. Evvy leaned forward, reading it. "If you're going to be here a while, do you want something to drink? Tea? Juice? Coffee?"

"Tea would be great," Evvy said, smiling.

An hour later, Evvy left. "Nice meeting you, Emma!" Evvy said.

"Nice meeting you too, Evvy!" She yelled back, and Evvy closed the door behind her. Emma is really nice, she thought. You know, I wouldn't mind her being my father's girlfriend. And with that, she walked down the hall, smiling.

….

I heart reviews! Though I only got five, I heart the people who sent them!

**Zeetah:** HI! Sorry…sugar overload…anyway, yeah, you'd love those books! They are amazing! OK, start with: Sandry's Book, Tris's Book, Daja's book, and Briar's book. Yes, those are actually the names of the books. Thanks!

**Dracos-naughty-lil-girl:** Yeah, I'm a big Draco fan…he's soooo hot XD. Anyway, I'm actually not a big Snape fan, I'm sorry to say. I don't LOVE him, I've just grown to trust his character, you know?

**Emmasnape99:** yay, tiny button day! Yep, you said that. I'll remember for the story! Yeah, I HATE the block! It sux. Once I get into college, I swear, I'm getting a new email address, and you can email me! Yes, I'm sorry about the end of the chapter but it has to come…so sad…so sad…I hope I got your description right (yes, you are in this chapter)!

**Zerrin of the Wind:** I'm glad you think so! Hope you update too; it's a great story u got going there too!

**Maliaphire:** yes, the socks, I love the socks! I had been reading first book again for fun, and came across the socks part, and decided to include it. Yes, a huge shock. Because when you haven't seen someone for a while, isn't it better to see them for a bit, instead of them popping into your life and staying there permanently? Much better to ease in slowly. And I will, don't worry.

**OrLaNdOsUx101/Emily:** Awwww, thanks, Em. Or Milly. True, maybe it was a tad confusing, but I personally don't see the trouble with being friends with Draco. He's actually one of my favorite characters. No, don't frown at me. He is. Not because Tom Felton is hot-which he is, but because he's a great character to work with. I mean, throw in a tragic past or abuse and you have ample reasons why he is like that. And, of course, you have a character (my fav's Hermione) find that out, crack open the shell, and you have yourself a sensitive nice person.

….

Ask Evvy's Crystal Ball 

_"Now, it is time to assign jobs," Evvy said, looking around at the staff._

_"Ooh, I want the fashion page!" squealed Pansy._

_"Shut up!" hissed Draco, and without thinking, he elbowed her._

_"Ouch!"_

_Draco was staring in horror at his elbow. "Oh my god," he whispered. "I touched Parkinson."  
_

_Everybody leaned forward for the big scream._

_"Ewwwwwwwwwww!" _

_They all winced._

_"Get it off! GET IT OFF!"_

….

Record: 15 pages!

….

Ok, end of interesting stuff. Yes, I know, you must all be sad because this chapter is ending. At least don't forget to press the tiny button at the bottom. It begs you. "Push me! Push me!" it cries. Heed the button, I say. HEED THE BUTTON!


	5. Job Assignments and Blind Dates

Disclaimer: You know, this is actually completely pointless. I hope you agree. I don't own HP. There. Happy?

Ok, there is one review I must answer before the chapter.

**Anonymous:** Hi, anonymous. I'm sorry you don't like that she's Snape's daughter. But, get this: this is BEFORE he killed Dumbledore. In this version, he doesn't, and is a good guy. But hey, sure go on hating it. Bye! Enjoy your life!

The saga continues…(don't you love that phrase? XD)

Chapter Five: Job Assignments and Blind Dates

The next morning, Evvy was a bit nervous. She had a right to be. After all, this was her first day here with everyone, not just the people who stayed over break. She had reminded the break people at dinner last night not to tell _anyone_ her last name. From the reaction the first time, she wasn't sure if she wanted to tell. If anyone one asked, she would make up a name.

She awoke at five, unable to sleep anymore. She packed up her stuff and slipped into the girl's dorm so she could put her stuff by the extra bed. Suddenly a loud snoring noise came from the bed, and Evvy jumped about three feet in the air. Pansy, she thought, wincing, and headed into the bathroom to change.

She pulled on her robes, and left the Slytherin house, and walked over to the Great Hall. To her surprise, there were a few people there already with their parents. Probably being dropped off, she thought.

Near her, there were two girls, one with brown hair and periwinkle eyes, and the other with blond hair and green eyes.

"Bye Mum," said the brown haired girl, kissing her mother on the cheek.

"Take care Lavender," her mother said fondly, and she stepped into the fireplace and disappeared.

Evvy walked over nervously. "Hi," she said shakily. She noticed that they had red edged robes. Gryffindor.

"Hi," said the blond, smiling. "I haven't seen you here before."

"I'm the Durmstrang exchange student, Evvy," Evvy said, smiling weakly.

"Oh. I'm Parvati Patil, and that's my friend Lavender Brown." The brown haired girl gave her a cheerful wave. "We're in the sixth year. You are too, right?"

"Yep," said Evvy. Then she frowned. "How do you know?"

Parvati waved a hand. "Oh, Dumbledore made an announcement. You do know who Dumbledore is?"

"I do. I came a couple of days before break," Evvy told her, smiling.

"Cool! So what house are you in?"

"Slytherin for the first week, then Gryffindor for the next-I pretty much switch off."

"Oh. Well, Lav and I have to go! I'll see you in Gryffindor then!" She smiled, and left, Lavender tagging on behind her.

For the next hour or so, Evvy hung around, waiting for the tables to come. Suddenly four popped up.

Uh-oh, she thought. Which one's mine?

"Lost?" asked a voice. Evvy turned to see a tall blocky girl with mousy brown hair and hazel eyes standing above her. She gulped. "Oh, don't worry, I don't bite. Most people feel this way about my appearance."

Evvy laughed. "I'm looking for the Slytherin table."

"First year?"

"Nope. Exchange student. Sixth."

"Sweet! Nice to meet you! Millicent Bulstrode." The girl stuck out a huge hand. Evvy shook it. Millicent beamed.

"Evvy," she said. "So where's the Slytherin table again?"

"Sorry," the girl said. "Over here. Follow me."

They headed over to the table on Evvy's right, and sat down. There were mounds of food already.

"Bagels!" Evvy crowed.

"What?" said Millicent, grinning.

"I haven't had one of these in _ages_," Evvy said, and took a ferocious bite. She smiled, looking as though she was in heaven.

The breakfast was spent meeting tons of new people, though she already knew Blaise and Draco, of course. There was Crabbe…Goyle…Adam Nott…and others, including Millicent.

In the middle of a detailed conversation concerning exactly what decibel Pansy's snores were-Draco guessed in the region of a truck, her father swept up.

"Evvy?" he said curtly.

"Yes Da-I mean, Professor," she said, catching herself just in time.

"Here's your schedule. Enjoy your year," Her father turned abruptly and left.

Evvy looked at her schedule. "Potions first, Slytherin and Gryffindor," she said. "Better go."

At the end of the day, Evvy was piled with work. An essay for Charms, a worksheet for Potions, the list went on and on. She dumped it on her bed and called a meeting of the staff.

By nine, they were all assembled in the Room of Requirement.

"Ok, today I am giving out the job assignments," Evvy said.

"Ooh, I want the fashion page!" Pansy squealed.

"Shut up!" hissed Draco, and without thinking, he elbowed her.

"Ouch!" said Pansy, rubbing her stomach. But Draco paid her no heed and stared in horror at his elbow.

"I…_touched_ Parkinson," he said hoarsely.

All-except Pansy-of them leaned forward for the big scream.

"_Ewwwwwwwwwww!_"

They all winced and began to massage their ears.

"I NEED DISINFECTANT! NOW!" he screamed. Spotting some on a random shelf, he lunged for it and seized it, knocking down the entire bookcase in the process. Unfortunately, it was the spy device bookshelf. The very _fragile_ spy device bookshelf.

"NOOOO! MY DEVICES!" shrieked Evvy.

Draco paid no attention and proceeded to smear the cream over his entire arm. He sighed. "That was close. If it had gotten under my skin…" he shuddered.

"Yeah, the new most poisonous potion ingredient: Essence of Pansy," snickered Harry.

"NOOOOOOO!" yelled Evvy again from the floor.

Draco turned guiltily to look at the ruined shelf. "Oops."

"Oops is right!" hissed Evvy. She seized him by the collar and threw him up against the wall. "Fix it! Go on, fix it!"

"Could…" he faltered, but started again, "Could you le me down? I can't exactly clean it from up here."

Evvy let go, letting Draco fall to the floor. "That was your punishment. Now, fix it, I say!"

He whipped out his wand and muttered, "Reparo!" The entire shelf-and its contents-flew back together, whole once more.

Evvy smiled and sat back down. Everyone was still laughing about the 'Essence of Pansy' joke-except for, of course, Pansy herself, who was fixing her hair in a compact mirror.

"Shut up, or you will all wait another day!" Evvy shouted, her patience worn thin.

They all immediately complied.

"Ok," said Evvy, looking down at her clipboard, as though there was something written there. Which there wasn't. "Harry," she said finally. After all, why not start with the obvious? "You are the editor of the sports page."

"Hey!" shouted Draco. "He's on his house's team! He'll make it sound better!"

"But no biased train of thought, or I will personally choose somebody to…what's the word?…_help_ you out. Got it?" Evvy said.

Harry gulped and nodded.

"And Draco…" she said. He leaned forward eagerly. "Don't interrupt me!" she shouted.

He nodded, looking about as fierce as a puppy.

"Now," she said, trailing off to what she hoped her staff members thought was a dramatic pause. She grinned. Why not start setting thing up now? "The main section is gossip. There are two sections: the Teachers and the Students. The Teachers section will be Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy." Besides, it _was_ a good idea: a teacher's pet-though Hermione didn't mean to be-and a smooth-talking boy. What could be better?

Hermione and Draco sure didn't think so. They scowled at her, then at each other and back at her.

"You really expect me to-" began Draco furiously just as Hermione said, "I can't work with _that_-"

Evvy held up her hands. "No complaining," she loomed over them.

"Alright," they squeaked in unison.

"Good. Now Ron and Pansy on the Students section-" they both groaned, but were silenced by a glare. Pansy wrinkled her nose as Ron stared at her in horror "-and Blaise, you can work on the Interesting Events, as well as any other column you see fit to add." Blaise smiled.

"Are you guys ready?" she yelled.

"Sir, yes sir!" shouted Harry. Everyone stared. "It's a Muggle thing I saw on a movie."

"What's a 'movie'?" asked Draco curiously.

Harry rolled his eyes, and didn't answer.

"Our first newspaper is in two weeks!" Evvy shouted.

"Yeah!" they yelled.

"We must work hard!"

"Yeah!"

"Work until you drop!"

"Yeah!"

"Shut up!"

"Ye-" began Ron, but stopped and blushed.

"Now, follow me," Evvy said, striding out of the room.

"What are you doing?" Hermione asked after they had all exited.

"Remodeling," Evvy replied.

A few seconds later, they re-entered. Evvy smiled. It was the same, but the long table had vanished, leaving behind five desks-one for her, one for Blaise, one for Ron and Pansy, one for Hermione and Draco, and one for Harry.

"Pull up a desk everyone!" Evvy called, but spotted Hermione and Draco separating at once and finding their own desks. "With your partners," she added, smiling.

They scowled, and found a desk with two seats.

"Now, write down ideas! Brainstorm! I want you guys to show me some actual _work_ when this session is finished!" she called out, and the room exploded in a flurry of activity-and a few squabbles, but Evvy ignored them.

Ah, newspaper life, she thought, lounging back in her chair. How I have missed it.

….

Evvy scratched out a sentence in her essay, and looked back in the book for information. She had asked Hermione to accompany her to the library to do their work-and she also needed her help on something. They were in the middle of their Potion's essay-which her _father_ assigned. She shuddered. She would _never_ get used to having her father as a teacher.

Take that day, for instance. She had had Potions first, and was pretty nervous. Not that she thought that she wouldn't do well; Potions was actually her best subject. But because of the teacher.

It had been a good lesson all in all, but her father refused to speak to her, and the only time he did was when it was about strictly Potion matters, _nothing_ else. She had also been shocked as to how he favored the Gryffindors; after all, teachers weren't supposed to choose favorites. But there was always one teacher who did in every school, and it was her dumb luck to have that teacher for a father.

But back to the present. Hermione was working furiously away at the essay; she already had two rolls of the required three. Evvy pushed her own essay away and leaned forward. It was time to ask Hermione for help.

"Hermione?"

"Mmm-hmm?" She didn't look up.

"You see, I have this friend, and I want to set him up with this girl-" Evvy began, but Hermione looked up, grinning.

"Keep talking."

"Ok, here's the thing-I want to set up Ron and Pansy," Evvy told her excitedly.

"Really?" Hermione shrieked, and Madam Pince-the librarian-looked sharply in their direction, and she lowered her voice. "But they _hate_ each other."

"Well, you and-" Evvy coughed. She had almost revealed her plan for her friend. "What I mean is, some people hate each other because they believe that they are so completely different that they can't _possibly_ have anything in common. But when you actually compare them, they're the perfect match! So, I've compared Ron and Pansy, and you have to face the facts-they're a _lot_ alike."

"No way!" Hermione said.

"Yeah way."

"Ok. Like how?" she said.

"For starters, they both like to look good. You know how boys are obsessed about their hair?"

"Yeah…"

"Well, Ron likes his appearance even more than most! I've seen him take out a comb and compact mirror when he thought nobody was looking, and check his hair!" Evvy said.

"For real?" Hermione gasped.

"Yep. Now your turn."

"Hmmm…let's see…they're both the ones who don't do much in a trio-no offense to Ron, of course. And the trios being Harry, Ron, and me, and Draco, Pansy, and Blaise. Hey, this is a lot easier than I thought!" Hermione grinned.

"Exactly!" Evvy beamed. "Now another thing…they both like to complain."

"You got that right!"

For the next five minutes, they listed traits Pansy and Ron had in common.

Finally, Hermione said, "Ok. You got me. Maybe they _are_ the perfect couple."

"Unless _you_ like him?"

"Nah. He's too much like a brother, him _and_ Harry. Honest!" She protested at Evvy's skeptical look. "Now shoot. What's your plan?"

"Get this-I'm going to set them up with each other on a blind date."

"But they'll storm off once they see who it is!"

"No, they won't. You're thinking _Muggle_ blind dates. _Wizarding_ blind dates are different."

"How?"

"Ok…"

….

"Hey Pansy!" Evvy shouted, walking over to the girl's bed that night.

"Hey Evvy! What's up?" she said, putting concealer on. Evvy wrinkled her nose at this folly. Concealer at night? Who's going to see her in her bed? Wait…on the other hand, I _really_ don't want to think about that.

"Well, guess what? I got you a date for the Hogsmead trip tomorrow!" Evvy said.

"Really?" Pansy squealed, dropping the compact. "All the guys I asked were busy!"

I wonder why, Evvy thought sarcastically. "It's a blind date."

"Blind? I don't want my date to be blind!" Pansy said worriedly.

Evvy laughed. "No, he's not blind. I'll explain it to you tomorrow."

"Great! Thanks Evvy!" Pansy said.

"No problem." Piece o' cake.

….

The next afternoon, Evvy was helping Pansy get ready. Being Pansy, she had already picked out a special outfit and everything, but Evvy was showing her what a wizarding blind date was.

"My friends and I used to do this _all_ the time," Evvy said, putting the special eyeshadow on Pansy. "This blind date is really blind."

"Hey!" Pansy shouted. "You told me he wasn't blind!"

"No. _You_ are."

"I don't want to be blind either!"

"No, you've got it wrong. Listen, when you meet the guy, instead of him, you will see a big white outline of the person, so even if you know them, you won't judge them. The person's voice will also sound different. And when someone else says their name, you won't be able to hear it. Therefore, even if they're your worst enemy, you'll be able to start over with a clean slate," Evvy explained.

"Will the boy have the same type of charm?"

"Yes."

"Sounds good," Pansy shrugged.

"Of course it's good! I met a ton of great friends this way!" said Evvy.

"Anybody special?" asked Pansy slyly.

"No," Evvy blushed.

"Anybody you like here?"

She blushed even harder and mumbled, "No."

"Evvy's got a cru-ush, Evvy's got a cru-ush," crowed Pansy, dancing around the common room.

"Do you want the date or not?" asked Evvy, grinning, and they headed outside.

Meanwhile, in the Gryffindor common room…

"Seriously Ron, I've explained it a thousand times. It'll be fun, I promise you," Hermione said, straightening his shirt.

"But what if it turns out that we hate each other? What if I spill something? What if I say something wrong? What if-" Ron began, looking worried. Hermione clamped a hand over his mouth.

"Hmmmuhme!" He said, looking frantic.

"That's it, you're going," she said firmly, and steered him out the door.

Evvy and Pansy met Hermione and Ron at the gate to Hogsmead.

"Oh look Pansy, hear comes your date," Evvy said, watching a rather bemused Ron stroll down the hill, Hermione a few yards behind.

"Hey," Ron said uncomfortably when he got there.

"Hey," Pansy replied nervously.

"Ok, Ron, Pansy, have a good time together," Evvy said.

"Wait, what was her name? I couldn't hear her," Ron said.

"Idiot!" said Hermione-she had caught up by now, cuffing him over the head. "You're not supposed to!"

"Then what do I call her?" Ron asked.

"Ummm…"said Evvy. "Here, I'll give you each names. Remember, these are NOT your real names. Pansy, you're Ashely, and Ron, you're Damien," Evvy crossed her fingers.

"Ashely?" Pansy said, just as Ron said, "Damien?"

"Sounds good!" they said in unison.

"Good," said Evvy, relieved.

"Let's go," said Ron to Pansy.

"Ok Damien," Pansy giggled, and they set off to Hogsmead.

"Let's follow them," Evvy muttered, for they were still in earshot.

"Okay," Hermione whispered back. They waited a bit more, and then set off.

As they watched the two, they saw some people saying rude comments about them being together.

"I should've known!" said Hermione, smacking her forehead.

"Oh well," said Evvy, shrugging. "Every first couple gets a bit ridiculed."

"But they don't know who they are!"

"They'll get used to it."

Hermione rolled her eyes and seized Evvy's hand. They followed the two into The Three Broomsticks, and watched as they took a seat. Then they carefully positioned themselves so that they could see Ron and Pansy but they couldn't see them. Once both of them had gotten drinks, Evvy carefully cast a charm so that Ron and Pansy wouldn't hear anyone else speaking to them, just the bustle of the shop.

"So they won't hear insults," Evvy explained to Hermione.

"Smart."

"Thanks. I try my best."

"Shush! They're starting to talk!" Hermione hissed, and they both quieted down in order to hear the couple.

"So…" said Ron awkwardly. "What's your favorite subject?"

"I personally like Charms," said Pansy. "What about you?"

"Well," Ron said. "I enjoy Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"Cool! The teacher this year is really nice, isn't she?"

"Yeah, Professor Russon, isn't it?"

"That's her!"

"I can't believe that each of our teachers only stayed for a year each. Strange, don't you think?"

"Yeah. My friends and I always suspected that the job was cursed, or something like that."

"Mine too!"

"Awesome!"

"So, do you like Quidditch?"

"Who doesn't?"

Evvy and Hermione exchanged smiles. This was going _exactly_ as planned. They actually were having a good time.

After a few more minutes, they left the store, deep in a discussion about some of the different secret passageways in the school.

"This couldn't be going better! I've never had so much fun on date before!" Ron said, blushing deeply.

"Me neither," Pansy admitted.

"Where do you want to go next?"

"How about Honeydukes? I've heard that there's some new candies there," suggested Pansy.

"Sure!" she beamed.

The two went all over town, seeming to have the time of their lives. Evvy and Hermione followed them from store to store, but the couple never seemed to notice. If they did, they were hiding it _very_ well.

Finally, the trip was drawing to a close. Evvy and Hermione leaned out of the bush they were hiding in for the final act.

They were at the Shrieking Shack, but they weren't paying the slightest bit of attention to the house, just staring at each other. Snow was falling lightly, and all was quiet.

"This has been the greatest," said Pansy. "I had a great time."

"Me too," said Ron.

"I almost wish it wouldn't end," Pansy said, and they leaned in close. But hen they pulled away.

"Um, bye," Ron said awkwardly.

"Bye," Pansy said, and they both rushed off in different directions.

Evvy and Hermione stared at each other.

"Ok, I can't help it," said Evvy, grinning. "But I told you so, I told you so!" She hopped out of the tree and did a little jig.

"There's no time for this!" Hermione said.

"What do you mean? There's always time! I told you so, I told you so!" Evvy danced a bit more.

"No, I mean we need to go meet Ron and Pansy! Now!" Hermione said.

Evvy's face turned white, and they almost toppled over each other as they rushed to get to the school.

….

Cursing, Evvy arrived out of breath in the common room just before Pansy entered.

When Pansy came in, Evvy's mouth dropped open. Pansy was in dreamland. She was smiling happily and her head was in the clouds.

"Pansy?" Evvy asked slowly.

"Yes?" she said, still in dreamland.

"I don't mean to interrupt your reverie or anything, but how did it go?" Evvy asked her.

"Oh, it was wonderful! Thank you!" she seized Evvy in a bone-crushing hug.

"Pansy…strangling me…" she gasped.

"Sorry," Pansy let go, and Evvy landed with a thump on her bed.

Suddenly Pansy's face crumpled and she collapsed with a wail next to Evvy. "We were about to kiss, and I pulled away!"

"It was your first date with him," Evvy said consolingly. "That would be going to fast."

"No, not for this," Pansy sobbed, her tear-stained face buried in a pillow. "He's so…_amazing_."

"Pan, you don't even know what he _looks_ like."

"But if I did, I know he'd be handsome!"

For a half an hour, Pansy raved and ranted about how she pulled away, how utterly stupid she was. Evvy rushed off to the library, her face white. There was a sudden thump as her body and someone else's collided.

"Evvy!" It was Hermione. "It's Ron-"

"Him too?"

Hermione nodded.

They had a _big_ problem.

….

Ok, did you like? Now for the review answers!

**Zerrin of the Wind- **Blaise and Evvy. Maybe…you will see. And duh, as you have read, she really is going to set everyone up! And the note will come in later in the story. Don't worry. I love sugar highs! Yippeee!

**Syl Rose**- Awww, thanks. I love it when people laugh at my jokes. At school, when I try to tell jokes, even to my friends, nobody laughs. Nobody. It makes me sad. So now someone does: you! Yay! And you will see about Evvy and Blaise. And her dad, I think that's going to be last, sorry.

**Dracos-naughty-lil-girl**- Oh yay! More people love my chappies! –dances-

**Dark Angel's Curse**- Did I tell you that I like your un? Cause I do! And yay, happy author day! My favorite! Yeah, I don't love Snape, but I've learned to trust him, you know? And about my writing being the best? I'm flattered! But seriously, I'm not that great. Check out Parenting Class. You will be amazed. And see the review I gave you for details about the cowriting!

**Dear Me**- Vf, Raye, vf.

**Maliaphire**- Yes! The button heeders will rule the world! And yes, those two couples will be together. Double dating...hmmm…I never thought about that.

**Surf all day and do the hula**- sweet un. And thanks for the compliments. I love them. Well, who doesn't?

**Emmasnape99**- o0o. I'm sorry about the chapters, but they must end. And yay for yays! And you weren't in this chappy much, just a few name mentionings. Sorry! I luv overexcitedness. It's my life. And yeah, that is pretty cool. Sometimes, if someone thinks of an image about an emotion, I can see the image in my head! It's really cool! And no, I haven't seen Lilo and Stitch lately. Why?

**Rachael**- As I said before, I'm not even gonna try to spell your name out. Thanks. Four starbursts for sugar high? I actually can get sugar high without having any sugar! Wanna see? Oh wait, you see that everyday at school…o0o0o never mind.

….

Ask Evvy's Crystal Ball

Once Evvy left the Slytherin dorm, she encountered a problem. She didn't know where the Gryffindor common room was. That's okay, she thought brightly. I'll just-

_"Lost?" asked a mild voice behind her._

_Evvy shrieked and turned around, wand at the ready. What she found was a ghost in a huge ruff inspecting his non-existent fingernails._

_"Now, that stick will do very little to me, very little," continued the ghost._

_"Sorry," said Evvy, holding her hand to her heart. "You nearly gave me a heart attack!"_

_"I beg your pardon?"_

_"You scared me half to death."_

_"Now, little lady, death is nothing to joke about," said the ghost sternly. "After all, I was killed by 47 seven chops with a blunt axe, and if I may say so, it's a quite unpleasant experience, and I would not like to experience it again."  
_

"He didn't do a very good job, did he?" Evvy asked, peering closer at it.

….

Well, I updated! Yay! AS I SAID BEFORE, HEED THE BUTTON!

XD Mel


	6. Ravings of Gryffindor

**Disclaimer-** I HATE DISCLAIMERS!

Yeh. So, did you guys not like that chapter? I saw a significant decrease in reviews. –sobs- Well, a thousand bonus points to those people who DID review.

Points count for absolutely nothing.

Reviews at the bottom.

Chapter Six: Ravings of Gryffindor House

Evvy couldn't believe it. Her plan had worked perfectly-for once-but the results…the results were disastrous. Pansy couldn't stop talking about Damien (aka Ron). It was always Damien this, Damien that-and since Evvy was the only Slytherin who knew him, guess who got pestered with the one thousand and one questions. Evvy truly.

"Evvy?" Pansy leaned over and murmured to her.

"What?" Evvy snapped. She was trying to listen to Professor Flitwick's lecture on Hair Dye Charms, and she was sick and tired of all the meaningless questions that Pansy had asked her.

Pansy pouted. "Why are you so upset?"

Evvy rolled her eyes. "Do you not know?"

Pansy frowned and shook her head.

"Never mind," Evvy said. "Now what was the question you were about to ask me?"

Pansy twirled her hair around her finger. "What's the magic word?" she taunted.

"Please?" Evvy guessed.

"Right! Now say it in a sentence…"

"Please tell me the question."

"Good!"

"…"

"What's Damien's favorite color?"

"I DON'T KNOW!" Evvy shouted. She slammed down her quill.

The class was deathly quiet and Professor Flitwick peered around his books to look at them.

"Girls?" he peeped in his high-pitched voice. "Is there anything wrong?"

"No, Professor," said Pansy primly.

"_Yes_, there is!" Evvy said angrily.

"And that problem would be…" he trailed off expectantly.

"That bitch won't shut up!"

Which is how Evvy landed a detention that night.

"Now Evvy," said Flitwick as Evvy scrubbed off the plates from dinner. "You are a very bright girl. I expect more from you in the future."

"Yes Professor," Evvy said through gritted teeth, and piled another plate on the already-towering stack.

Another downfall was that Pansy and Ron were arguing more and more during the newspaper time.

You would think that since they were in love that they wouldn't argue but nooooo, thought Evvy as she tried to concentrate on the introduction to her column. They wouldn't stop.

"_I_ want to do the bit on Lavender and Dean!" shouted Ron angrily.

"But you're already doing Parvati and Seamus!" replied Pansy, snatching the paper. "_I_ want to do this!"

"No _I _want to!"

"_I_ want to!"

The entire class was staring at them as they tugged the parchment back and forth. Draco's eyes were like pendulums.

"_I_ want to!"

"_I_ want to!"

_Rippppppppppppp!_

The parchment tore in half, leaving a piece of it clutched each other's. They paid no attention to it; their faces were livid with rage.

"Now see what you've done!" yelled Pansy.

"What _I've_ done? How about what _you've_ done?" retorted Ron.

"_You_ did it!"

"_You_ did it!"

"_You_ did it!"

"_You_ did it!"

"Shut up!" Evvy screamed. "Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!"

They turned to her, shocked.

"Wh-what?" Pansy stuttered.

"Can't you guys just get along?" Evvy asked, giving her last bit of patience into that statement.

"Not with that idiot," said Pansy stubbornly.

"Not with that freak," Ron added.

"Ok," said Evvy. "That's IT! I'm SICK AND TIRED OF YOUR ENLESS FIGHTING! EITHER YOU TWO WORK TOGETHER LIKE ACTUAL HUMAN BEINGS, OR I WILL PERSONALLY GARUNTEE ONE FULL DAY OF SURFING!" She breathed deeply, and her hands clenched.

"You can't mean that!" said Ron.

"Oh, I do," Evvy said, her silver eyes flashing. "I do."

They shrank back and proceeded to work silently.

"I'd say you're just the tiniest bit annoyed," Blaise said, leaning back in his chair.

Evvy glared at him. He smiled.

….

The week of her being in Slytherin was up, and Evvy sadly gathered all her things into her trunk-except for her Slytherin robes.

She walked out into the common room, and looked around at the laughing people. She was gonna miss it. Besides, even though she had heard some bad things about this house, it still was great.

"Hey Evvy," said Blaise, walking up to her. "Where're you going?"

"To Gryffindor," Evvy told him.

"Really? A week's gone already?"

Evvy nodded sadly.

He frowned. "Hey, Draco, Pansy, Millicent," Blaise called over his shoulder. "Evvy's going over to the Dark Side!" (Which is quite ironic cuz most of the Death Eaters came from Slytherin)

They hurried over.

"You're leaving?" asked Millicent incredulously. "Why?"

"I have to switch between Gryffindor and Slytherin," Evvy explained.

"Crap, I had forgotten about that," she said. "Well, send those suck ups our love, okay?"

Evvy smiled. "I will."

"Gone already," said Draco sadly, shaking his head. "What a shame. _Cough_party_cough_."

"I heard that," Evvy said, and slapped him on his cheek, as was her custom.

He just smiled and shrugged, as was his custom.

"Bye guys," Evvy said, and hugged each of them, leaving everybody except Pansy stunned. Pansy thought that because she was so cool, people should be hugging her left and right.

"Hey Evvy," Pansy said. "Wanna hear a poem about Damien?" Without waiting for an answer, she began.

"_Roses are red"_

"Violets are bl-" 

"Bye!" Evvy seized her trunk and ran out of the room as fast as she could.

Once she was in the drafty dungeon corridor, she looked around and realized a crucial fact: She didn't know where the Gryffindor dormitories were.

Oh, that's okay, she thought brightly. I can just go back and-

"Lost?" asked a mild voice behind her.

She shrieked and whirled around, wand at the ready.

"My dear, that, I'm afraid, is going to do very little to me, very little." A ghost with a huge ruff was floating there, examining his non-existent fingernails.

"Holy crap," said Evvy, her hand against her chest. "You nearly gave me a heart attack."

The ghost frowned. "I beg your pardon?"

"You scared me half to death," Evvy told him.

"Now, young lady, death is nothing to joke about. I was killed with 47 chops to the neck with a blunt axe by a quite bad executioner. It's not something I'd like to repeat," he said grimly, and removing his ruff, swung his head onto his shoulder. It flipped off, though it still hung by the tiniest flap of skin.

"He didn't do a very good job, did he?" asked Evvy, peering closer at the transparent guts and gore that decorated the inside and collar of the ghost's neck-unlike most of the female population who would have:

run away, screaming

stared in awe and fascination, and poked it

smile sweetly

Take one guess.

"No, unfortunately, he did not," sighed the ghost. "That was not a fate I would wish on any one of my enemies. Though is it enough to get into the Headless Hunt Group? Noooo, I have to be _properly_ decapitated-" He noticed Evvy watching him, and cleared his throat. "Sorry about that."

"Who are you, anyway?" Evvy asked.

"Nearly-Headless Nick," He stuck out a hand, and Evvy shook it. Or tried to.

The moment she tried to grasp the ghost's hand, it felt like a huge bucket of ice water was being dumped on her hand. The water felt so slippery that her hand slid right through it. "Brrr," she said, shivering, before she could stop herself. Then she looked up at Nick and added hastily, "I mean no disrespect to you, of course-"

Nick smiled faintly. "Oh, it's quite all right. My hands do get cold on occaision." Then he looked down his nose at her and said, "You're ever so polite. Much nicer than one of those boys in my house, Ronnie Wiely, or like that. He's always making the most horrid jokes about me being dead-"

"Ron Weasley?" Evvy asked excitedly.

"Yes, I suppose that's it," Nick said stiffly. "As I said, he's always making fun of me and such. Though he hasn't been doing it much lately, though one never knows. Oh, Nick never knows, never knows, never knows…" He sang in an eerie tune that sent shivers down Evvy's spine. He stared off into the distance, as though he was waiting for something, or someone.

"Uh, Nick?" Evvy said, snapping her fingers in front of his face.

He jolted, and stared into her face, looking startled. "Oh, yes, what were you saying?"

"You were talking about Ron," Evvy said pointedly.

"Right. Now, as I said before, he's in my house, and-he's not a friend of yours, is he?"

"Yeah…your house? You mean you're the Gryffindor house ghost?"

"Correct."

"Thank god! Where is Gryffindor?" Evvy asked, hopping up and down at her good fortune.

"Now, a Slytherin such as yourself shouldn't be prying into the other Houses affairs, though I do suppose it's what you do best…" He trailed off, then looked at her with a penetrating gaze. "Besides, it's none of Slytherin's business where our house is!"

"But I'm in Gryffindor!" she protested.

"If you're in my house, how come you are down in these drafty dungeons?" Nick asked, sweeping his arm about.

"I could ask you the same thing!"

He sighed. "The Bloody Baron, your house ghost-"

"I told you, I'm not in Slytherin!"

He rolled his eyes. "Fine, then the Slytherin house ghost, has borrowed something of mine, and I wish it to be returned. Happy?"

"Ok."

"Now why are _you_ down here?"

"I'm the exchange student, Evvy. I alternate between Slytherin and Gryffindor, and I had just come out from packing."

"Ah, I heard about that. Though one never knows, never knows one…"

"Nick?"

He cleared his throat. "Sorry. Did I drift off again?"

"Yes."

"That is to be expected, of course. When one is doomed for all eternity in the living realms, they will dream quite often of life in the great beyond…"

"Doomed?" Evvy asked curiously.

"Roses are red, 

_"Violets are blue,"_

"Oh no," said Nick fearfully. "There is that wretched girl's singing again. I'm afraid I have no choice but to help you."

He plucked at her sleeve, and they vanished.

….

They reappeared outside a huge portrait portraying a rather large lady with a puffy pink dress.

"How did you do that?" Evvy asked Nick, fascinated. "I never knew ghosts could do that!"

"We all have our secrets," said the ghost, smiling mysteriously. "Have a nice day…" He floated off, and Evvy turned to the portrait.

"Password, dearie?" The lady asked kindly.

"Password?" Evvy asked, baffled.

"Yes."

"Hey Nick!" Evvy called.

"Hmm?" The ghost turned around to look at her.

"What's the password?"

"Limitulocus," Nick told her.

"Thanks. And I believe I may know where the Bloody Baron is," she told him.

"Why ever would I need to talk to him?" said Nick, looking confused.

"You know, he borrowed something…"

"No, he didn't."

"Yeah…"

"No." Nick disappeared with a popping noise.

"I'm afraid the old chap's got a bit of a memory problem these days," The lady said fondly. "He's been around for quite a while, you know."

"I could tell," said Evvy, grinning. "Limitulocus."

"In you go!"

The portrait swung forward, and Evvy gratefully lugged her trunk inside. A wave of warmth washed over her. She was inside a huge circular red room, with a fire crackling merrily. There were huge squashy armchair and couches scattered about, and little groups of students lounged about, talking and laughing.

"Evvy!" Hermione came rushing towards her. "You're here!"

"Where else would I be?"

"…"

"Never mind. So this is Gryffindor, huh?" She set her trunk down, and looked around. "Nice place." She plunked herself down on an armchair in the middle of a group.

One of them looked up. "Hi Evvy," said Harry cheerfully, his green eyes twinkling in the firelight.

"Who's that?" asked a red-head. She too had emerald eyes, and tons of freckles.

"Evvy, this is Ginny. Ginny, Evvy. Evvy's the exchange student," Hermione explained.

"You look like-" Evvy began.

"Ron, I know," The girl rolled her eyes. "You'd think people would get over the fact that I'm a Weasley, but noooooo," she said. Evvy looked at her strangely, and Ginny smiled. "Sorry, I'm just a bit cross. I'll get over it."

"Nice to meet you," Evvy shook the girl's outstretched hand, and her eye darted over to Harry. He was staring at Ginny almost fondly. She smiled wickedly; another pair to add to her growing list.

Harry noticed her gaze and motioned to her not to tell, making slashing motions across his throat. Evvy smiled sweetly and pretended not to understand.

"I'm Seamus," said a voice another armchair. The boy was tall, and had sandy blond hair and hazel eyes.

"Hey," Evvy said.

"Dean," said another boy. He was a Negro, with curly black hair, and sparkling brown eyes.

"You already know Parvati and I," spoke up Lavender from another chair.

"Great, I'm getting to know the entire group before I even unpack and get that memory I've been leaving about," said Evvy sarcastically.

"Perfect, another sarcastic one," said Parvati, shaking her head. "You're just like Ron."

"Speaking of which," said Hermione, tugging at Evvy's arm. "I need to speak to you."

"'Mione," said Evvy. "Can't it wait?"

"No, it can't," She said, pulling harder. "It's about that Potions assignment."

"Oh. OH." Evvy said, her eyes wide.

Hermione nodded fiercely, and hauled the girl out of the chair.

"Oh, um, yeah, I'd better go," Evvy said, catching on.

"That's right you'd better," said Dean. "Hermione's about to pull your arm off."

"That's just like Hermione, thinking about studies before socializing," said Harry, shaking his head.

"When she frees you from the Library of Doom, let us know," called Ginny after them.

Hermione grinned, and pushed Evvy up a flight of stairs.

"Ok, ok , you can stop now," Evvy hissed, and Hermione let go. "I swear, I'm gonna have bruises all over…"

"Evvy, this is more serious than your 'bruises'," Hermione said, looking serious.

"He's _still_ raving?" Evvy said, running up the stairs.

"Yep. It gets worse every day. Not even Harry can stand to be around him," Hermione said miserably.

"Show me," she ordered.

Hermione walked down the hall, and ripped back some curtains.

"Ashley, Ashley," mumbled a voice.

Ron lay on his bed, looking dreamy. He had a notebook that had hearts and 'Ashley' scribbled all over it.

"Ron," Evvy said cautiously.

Nothing.

"Ron," Evvy said, louder this time.

Still nothing.

"RON!" She shouted.

"What? Ashley? Is that you?" Ron sat up, looking around wildly. Then his eyes registered Evvy and Hermione. "Oh, it's just you two," He lay back down. "Ashley, Ashley,"

"How long has he been like this?" Evvy demanded.

"Ever since their date," Hermione said.

"Hmmm…" Evvy smiled. She had an idea.

"Ron! Look! Ashley!" she shouted excitedly.

He sat up immediately. "Where? Where?" He said.

"Oh, she just left," Evvy said, trying to sound disappointed. "And she won't come back."

"Why?" he wailed.

"Because you keep talking about her. If you do, she'll never come back. But if you don't…" Evvy spread her hands wide. "If you're lucky, she will."

"Ok!" Ron jumped up, and smiled. "Who's up for a game of Wizard Chess?"

Hermione looked at Evvy, her mouth wide open. "How…how…" She was speechless.

Evvy smiled. "It's all part of my job."

"SO?" said Ron impatiently.

Hermione smiled, and they went downstairs.

….

"There, I've finished the paper," said Evvy proudly, handing Dumbledore a five-page newsletter with a flourish.

Dumbledore smiled at her and accepted it. He began reading, but his smile slowly dripped away, and his eyebrows went up.

"Well? Do you like it?" asked Evvy anxiously.

"Ummm…er….isn't it a bit vulgar?" asked Dumbledore hesitantly.

"Yeah. So?"

"I think you'd better redo it." He held out the paper expectantly, but Evvy just stared at him.

"Of course, they'll know all about it from their sex ed class," Evvy said. "So why bother?"

"Er…sex ed?"

"Yeah. You know, the class where you tell all the kids what they need to know…" Evvy looked at him.

"Sex ed?"

Evvy's jaw dropped. "You don't have sex ed?"

"No…"

"YOU DON'T HAVE SEX ED?"

Dumbledore looked at her, taken aback. Which is not something that happens often. "No. Why on earth is it such a big deal?"

"Then how do they learn about it?"

"Well, we usually leave it up to the parents-"

"THE PARENTS?" Evvy screamed. "They can't be trusted! There's a lot of things that they won't know. That they need to know! It's part of the school's job to tell them these things!"

"Excuse me, but-"

Evvy ignored him and continued ranting. "Where would I be if we didn't have sex ed in Durmstrang? Do you think my _father_ would have taken care of that?"

"Er-"

"DO YOU?"

"No, but-"

"Just answer the question!"

"No, but-"

"JUST ANSWER!"

Dumbledore sighed. "No."

Evvy threw her arms in the air. "Exactly! So it's up to you to make sure these people know what they need to! Am I understood?"

"But-"

"AM I UNDERSTOOD?"

"Yes. But-"

"But nothing!"

"EVUMEIMEI SNAPE, LISTEN TO ME!" Dumbledore thundered, eyes blazing.

Evvy shrank back in her chair. "Yes, Headmaster."

He calmed down. "There is a but, Evvy. The student body still has no sex ed class, no matter how important it may be. So I think you _do_ have to write it over."

"No way! We all worked hard on it, and-" She stopped suddenly, and realization dawned on her.

"Evvy? You're quiet. I sincerely hope that's a good thing," Dumbledore said, looking alarmed.

"It is," she said absently. "I just have an idea. Tomorrow expect a surprise," she smiled wolfishly to herself.

"Oh no…you're not starting your own class," he warned.

"No…better."

Dumbledore paled.

"No, if you'll excuse me, I must go," Evvy turned to walk out the door.

"Evvy?" Dumbledore called.

She turned. "Yes?"

"Are you always this persistent, or did I catch you on a bad day?"

"Always, Professor. Always."

….

The next morning, Evvy got up and was ready super early. She couldn't wait to see her plan in action.

"It's going to be a good morning," Evvy said to Hermione, rubbing her hands together in ecstasy.

Hermione looked at her suspiciously. "What did you do now?"

"Nothing, nothing." She inspected her fingernails, trying to appear offhanded.

"Evvy. I'm not an idiot."

"I know you're not. That's why you know I'm right."

Hermione made an odd spluttering noise in the back of her throat.

"What's that?"

Hermione just shook her head, and they headed downstairs with Harry and Ron.

"Ron?" Evvy asked curiously.

"Hmmm?"

"Why are you so quiet? It's starting to scare me," Evvy confessed.

"Well, since I can't talk about Ashley and she occupies my every thought, I'm not-" He clapped his hand to his mouth. "Oh no! I said-um, I said it! Please, PLEASE don't tell her! I'll do anything! Anything!" he wailed.

"Ok, ok," said Evvy. "Sheesh, I didn't know you liked her _that_ much."

"Why shouldn't I? She's-"

Harry held up both hands. "Don't," he said firmly.

"Well, I know one reason why not," said Evvy, fed up.

"Yeah, right," said Ron. "Name it."

"Because she's-er, never mind."

"Told you so!"

Evvy rolled her eyes, and they entered the Great Hall.

They all sat down at the Gryffindor table, talking happily. There was a loud swooshing noise as all the owls descended, dropping mail into people's laps.

Hermione peered up. "It looks like the entire Owlery is here!" she exclaimed.

Owls dropped bright pink pamphlets in everybody's lap, and Hermione picked it up frowning slightly.

"What's-" She turned pale. "Oh…my…god…"

**Ooh, cliffy! I know you hate them, but that's just too bad!**

**Maliaphire-** Lol, monkeys! And thanks. I like the blind dating thing too. And the double dating's gonna have to wait a bit, I'm sorry to say. About five more chapters.

**Emmasnape99-** Yeah, you didn't get mentioned in this chapter either. Oh well. And no, I haven't. It's just a personal quote. Ok, I'll explain about the images. Well, one night, my friends and I were in a tent, and we all sat in a circle. We each got assigned out loud an emotion, and we sat there for a minute, rubbing our hands together, trying to picture an image of our emotion. Then we all clasped hands, and tried to perceive the person's image on our left's emotion, while trying to show the person on our right ours. I got the image of the person on the left's image 100 percent correct every time. I thought that was pretty cool. Don't you think so?

**Zerrin of the Wind-** It's okay that you took a bit. What matters is that you reviewed! Lol.

**Degrassifan2010-** Thanx for the compliments! And actually, I can't wait either. When I reread my story, I see it and think, 'I can't wait to see what'll happen next!' And since I'm the writer, I get to decide!

**Syl Rose-** Awwwwww…thanks…

**Rachael-** Button heeders! Yay! What books?

….

Ask Evvy's Crystal Globe

_"Evvy. Tell me you did not do this," Hermione said, looking up from the pamphlet in utter disbelief._

_She spread her hands wide. "I can't say that, or else I'd be lying."_

_Hermione's mouth hung open, and she kept opening and closing it like a fish._

_Evvy smiled, and looked around the hall for people's reactions. Blaise gave her a thumbs up from the Slytherin table, as Millicent knocked her goblet over in shock. Ron's reaction was just like Hermione's; the fish mouth. _

_"Ah, what joy. I love it when people appreciate my work," Evvy teased him._

_"What did you do it for?" Ron said, his voice strangled._

_"Dumbledore said that the newspaper was too vulgar for the younger kids because they didn't know about it. So I fixed the problem."_

_Ron shook his head._

….

**Well, I hope you enjoyed the chapter. I thought it was pretty good myself!**

**Non-button heeders, beware of the punishment!**


	7. Sex Ed in a Booklet

**Disclaimer: **I hateeeeee…these. Harry Potter isn't mine. If it was, they would be a tinsy bit less depressing. Or at least the fifth one would be. Gawd, that book was really depressing. I really got all down. I am going off topic again?

So…a new chapter in Evvy's rather eventful life. Now, what surprises is this chapter gonna bring? Read and see, read and see…

Chapter 7: Sex Ed in a Booklet

Evvy smiled happily. It worked! She thought, grinning at all the stunned expressions on everybody's faces. Hermione's reaction was what she was hoping for, and there was clearly a lot of 'oh my god'-ing going on here. She looked over at the high table to make the teachers didn't know anything weird was going on, and winced when she saw Professor McGonagall's shaking hand drop a hot pink pamphlet into her goblet and her father's face red with fury as he scanned the table of contents.

She shrugged, and picked up a booklet herself.

Sex Ed in a Booklet 

Hogwarts has currently acquired a school newspaper. Although this newspaper is great, it has been declared to vulgar for the younger students, or one through fourth year, to read. Since the newspaper will sadly not be allowed to view the paper without knowing about sex, I, the editor, have personally decided to educate you all in the joys of sex in this booklet. Surely, in the future years, the school will educate you appropriately without my interference.

For teachers to make sure that you have read this form so they can give you a newspaper, you must first read it-of course-and turn it over to the back flap. The hidden spell there will scan your face and print out a little tag that reads ' has read the required information to receive a newspaper." The teachers will see it and take note of it for further papers, so declaring that you know enough to read. If there is anything new in the paper that is not included in this bulletin, it will be on the front of the paper in detailed description.

Now, before you can read this booklet, you must know what sexual intercourse is. Some of you students may have learned this from your parents, but for those of you who haven't, please read this. Sex is when…

And so on. Included also was a table of contents.

Table of Contents 

Chapter One: Foreplay

Chapter Two: Kissing

Chapter Three: What you do and don't know about males

Chapter Four: What you do and don't know about females

Chapter Five: How it feels to both sexes

Chapter Six: How old you should be

Chapter Seven: Gays and Lesbians…

It went on and on. Evvy looked at her handiwork, smiling proudly. It was Sex Ed in a Booklet, all right.

Hermione looked up at Evvy in disbelief. "You-you…" she spluttered.

Evvy raised one eyebrow. "I what?"

Hermione looked at her helplessly. "_Please _tell me you didn't do this." Obviously much worse things had been running through her mind.

"I can't."

"And why not?"

"Cuz that'd be lying."

Hermione's mouth hung open, her expression one of utter horror.

Evvy smirked and searched the room for other reactions. Draco flashed her a thumbs up while Blaise gazed at her with an odd expression, one of both mirth and fear. Millicent upset a jar of jam all over Pansy's sleeve, though for once the fashion-obsessed girl didn't notice, she stared at the booklet and dropped it like it was on fire. Evvy saw Ernie over at the Hufflepuff table trying in vain to break up a pair of fourth-year lovers who had just found something new to do, and Lavender and Parvati had collapsed in hysterical laughter farther down her own table. Ginny was muffling squeaks behind her sleeve as she laughed so hard that she cried, and Evvy saw a squeamish boy named Neville Longbottom run out of the Hall, looking like he was about to throw up. Evvy supposed that he must have watched the video. She _had_ had a warning on it: **Warning: Video NOT for squeamish stomachs**, but Neville must not have listened. Ah, well, she thought. Ron's reaction was one of the fish variety, his huge mouth opening and closing.

"Ewwww!" Evvy said, and looked away. "There's _food_ in your mouth!"

Ron closed it and swallowed. "Sorry 'bout that."

Evvy sighed and unshielded her eyes.

Then Ron remembered what her was going to say. "You didn't," he said in a strangled voice.

"I did."

Suddenly there was a tall dark shadow over the top of her head, and a sharp pain issued from her ear as the man pinched it.

"Ouch!" she yelped, and twisted wildly, trying to evade the iron-tight grasp. "What the bloody-" She caught a glimpse of the face, and her blood drained from her head. Her father's look was murderous, lightning crackling in his eyes.

"Oops," she gulped.

He bent down and hissed in her ear. "We need to talk," he said in a whisper more fearful than yelling, and still holding her ear, stood.

"I'll be back later," Evvy told her friends shakily.

Her father took no notice of her talking, and strode off towards the doors, with Evvy, who was cursing the air blue right next to him.

"Oh, fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck-"

Snape slammed the doors shut behind them, and let go. Evvy sighed with relief, and swallowed it when she got another good look at her father.

He seized her by the shoulders and shoved his nose in her face. "What," he roared, "is this?" He smashed a pink pamphlet into her eyes.

"Hehe," she laughed nervously. "Er…"

"This is no laughing matter!" He threw her against the wall. "You distributed these…these…these…" He was groping for a word to describe the awfulness.

"Booklets?" Evvy ventured timidly.

"SHUT UP!"

She did.

"You distributed these _booklets_ among the crowd! And for what?"

"…"

"A GOD-DAMN NEWSPAPER!"

"Well," said Evvy hotly, forgetting that her father was five times taller than she was, and a lot bigger too, "there was no sex ed class, and Dumbledore said the paper was vulgar, so I-"

"-made the booklets," spat Snape.

"-and it was for a quite good cause too," finished Evvy, as if her father hadn't interrupted her.

"FIRST YEARS AREN'T SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOUT THIS STUFF!" exploded Snape. "I DOUBT EVEN FIFTH YEARS ARE, LET ALONE SEVENTH YEARS!"

"Dumbledore never said I couldn't!" Evvy stuck her tongue out at him, resorting to kindergarten methods in her frustration.

"He never said you could, did he?"

"Um…well…"

"I'm waiting."

"Er…no, he didn't."

"It wasn't exactly against the rules, as we have none against this, son I can't punish you," he sighed. "But next time you want to do something like this-" he shook the paper under my nose for emphasis "-I want to know. Is that clear?"

"Crystal," Evvy grumbled.

"What did you say?" Snape leaned forward.

"CRYSTAL!" Evvy shouted.

"Good." He turned abruptly and strode off.

Evvy relaxed and winced as another spasm of pain shot through her ear. She walked back through the double door, massaging it gently. "He didn't have to squeeze _that_ hard," she muttered, sitting down. Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny leaned forward.

"So?" prompted Ron.

"So what?" Evvy snapped, buttering her toast. She was still sore about the ear thing-no pun intended.

"So did you get in trouble?" Ginny asked, unperturbed.

"What? No," Evvy took a big, crunchy bite.

"Really?" asked Hermione, looking astounded.

"Really really," Evvy said.

"But Snape always punishes us," Ron said indignantly. "Why should it be any different with you?"

Evvy raised an eyebrow at him. "Do I really have to answer that for you?"

Ron appeared to think a moment. "Oh. Right."

"Exactly. I'm his daughter."

Ron rolled his eyes, and started muttering obscenities under his breath about fathers and favorites.

The bell rang, and they set off for the Potions classroom. It was Friday, and tomorrow was another Hogsmead day. That meant another Ron and Pansy date to set up. So Evvy dropped back to talk with the Slytherins.

Draco acknowledged her presence with a huge grin and a high five. "You really did that?"

Evvy grinned. His enthusiasm was infectious. "Uh-huh."

"That's bloody brilliant! How'd you manage to pull it off? Your father looked full to bursting point when you guys ran out of the door. Or rather, him dragging you by the ear."

"It wasn't that hard. I mean, it's his daughter we're talking about here."

"Sweeeeeeeeeet."

After shrugging off Draco, Evvy walked up to Pansy. The girl was staring into a compact mirror intensely, taking no notice of the bustling crowd around her and the stairs, though she navigated the dungeon perfectly.

"Hey Pansy," Evvy said, trotting next to her.

Pansy waved. She didn't look up from her mirror.

Evvy stared at her. "Uhhhh…Pansy?"

"Hmm?"

"What the hell are you doing?" Evvy peered over her shoulder, but could see nothing but Pansy's reflection.

"Do my lips look fat?" Pansy held the mirror closer, and angled it.

Evvy rolled her eyes.

Pansy snapped the compact shut. "Great. I have to be the only one in my family to have fat lips! The only one!"

"Look, Pans, it doesn't matter."

"Yes it does! I have fat lips! It _has_ to matter! _I_ have _fat_ lips!"

"Just shut up for a moment, okay?"

Pansy surprisingly shut her mouth with a snap. Evvy, taken aback, stared at her for a moment, until Pansy began to look harried.

"Hmmm-mhm?" she hummed.

"Oh. Yeah. Right. Guess what day it is tomorrow?"

"Hmmm-hmm?"

"You can talk now, idiot!"

Pansy opened her mouth, then shut it, appearing to think about it. "I _think_ it might be Wednesday."

"No, you arsehead! It's Friday!"

"So?"

"SO? Are you serious?"

"Ummmm…yeah."

Evvy smacked Pansy around the head.

"_Owwwww!_ What was that for?"

"TOMORROW'S A HOGSMEAD WEEKEND, YOU IDIOT!" Evvy screamed.

"So?"

Evvy smacked her again.

"_Owwwwwwwwww!_"

"SO YOU CAN GO ON ANOTHER DATE WITH DAMIEN, YOU IDIOT!"

"Oh. OH. Really?" She squealed.

Evvy sighed. "Finally! A breakthrough!"

"Can I?"

Evvy smacked her.

"_Owwwwwwwwww!_"

"Yes Pansy, you may."

"My head hurts."

"Good. It's supposed to."

"Really?"

SMACK

"_Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww_!"

….

By this time, they were down in the dungeon already, and Evvy's father was already ushering the students inside.

"Hi Professor!" Evvy said brightly.

Snape sent her a death glare, and she winced. He was probably still mad about that morning.

And so he was.

Evvy took a seat next to Hermione as Snape proceeded to begin the lesson.

"Ok, now, we will begin the first five stages of the Algonquin Draught of Switchery today. This process is quite easy, so I expect you all to do perfectly well on it today." He glared at Neville, and the poor boy instantly whimpered with fear. Snape smirked, and began to pair the class up.

Evvy hastily scribbled a note explaining about his next date with 'Ashely', and how they were going to find out who each other was. He beamed as he scanned it, and Evvy felt her stomach lurch guiltily.

"-and Evvy."

"What?" Her head snapped up.

"If you were paying attention, you would have realized that Mr. Zabini is your partner," Snape said frostily. Evvy blushed as she made her way over to Blaise.

"Ok," said Blaise, squinting at the instructions on the board as Evvy readied the cauldron, "We need to add a half pint of salamander blood to water boiled at two hundred degrees, and add four dried snake fangs after five clockwise stirs."

They worked quite nicely together, though Evvy could hear lots of arguing from the other pairs. It seemed that her father had a knack for choosing the least compatible pairs.

"No, you idiot! Put in the porcupine quills AFTER the blue blood!" shrieked Hermione tensely.

Draco's face was flushed. "Oh, come on Granger! What bloody difference does it make?"

"It makes ALL the difference!" she screeched.

"You filthy Mudblood! Is schoolwork all you care about?"

"_No_, it's just that I was thinking about the person that's supposed to be drinking this could end up with rabbit ears, or…or…something like that!" She crossed her arms and looked at Draco accusingly. "What were _you _thinking about? How hot Pansy looks in her robes? Or without them?"

Draco turned red. "Hey! One, she's obsessed about that Damien guy, and two….um….two…er…

"EXACTLY!" Hermione cried. "You weren't thinking of anything, were you?"

"Uhhhh…"

"WERE YOU?"

"Why is it any of your business, anyway?" demanded Draco hotly. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you like me!"

Hermione gaped like a fish at him. "Wh-what? I certainly do NOT!"

Draco rolled his eyes. "Key phrase: _if I didn't know any better_. Besides," he said slyly, "you do like me, dontcha?" He slicked his hair back teasingly.

SMACK

Over by Neville and Goyle, it was apparent that the cauldron was about to go overboard.

Goyle towered over poor Neville. "I am not a-" He stopped and scratched his head. "What didya say again?"

"Dumbass?" ventured Neville timidly.

"Yeah! That thing!" Goyle lunged forward, shoving a huge, meaty finger in Neville's face, causing him to howl and fall backwards-right into the cauldron.

At the clang, nobody looked up. They all sighed and said automatically, "Neville."

A hiss warned them that the potion was spreading across the floor rapidly, and everyone stood on their chairs and continued working-all without looking up.

"Good thing that I stood up in time, or else it would have ruined my new shoes," said Pansy gratefully, fluffing up her hair.

"And we care why?" scoffed Ron.

"Because beauty is the important thing in a person's life!" stated Pansy proudly.

"Yeah right," Ron said, and instantly pulled out a compact mirror and started to obsess over his hair.

Pansy, meanwhile, was reapplying her makeup.

"Idiots!" yelled Snape. "This is NOT a beauty school!"

"Well, it should be," argued Pansy.

"Yeah," complained Lavender. "Why don't you do any _cool_ potions, like stuff to make lipstick last longer?"

Snape rolled his eyes. "Who here wants those types of potions-besides you two?"

"We do!" chorused most of the girls, waving their hands in the air.

"But…but…" spluttered Snape. "But they aren't useful!"

"Like this is?" retorted Pansy.

"It is!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

Snape threw his hands up in the air. "I'm not going to stand for this! Now, either you work on THIS potion, or fail."

Grumbling, everyone went back to work.

"Is it always this interesting?" Evvy asked Blaise quietly.

He grinned. "Always."

….

The next day, Ron, Pansy, Hermione, and Evvy met at the gate.

"Hey, how come I can't see Ashley?" complained Ron.

"You're not going to see her until _after_ the date," said Evvy. Then she added worriedly, "A nice, fun, relaxing, happy date with no hating, hitting, or fighting. Or violence," she added as an after thought.

Ron and Pansy stared at her. "Uh, why would we?" asked Pansy.

"Oh, never mind," said Evvy, waving a hand about. "Just too much sugar, right Hermione?" Evvy elbowed her, and they both began to laugh hysterically.

"Okkkkk…" said Ron. "We'll be going now." The couple walked off.

Once they were out of earshot, Hermione gripped Evvy's arm tightly. "That was too close," she hissed.

Evvy wrenched her arm away. "I know, I know."

They followed the two, ducking behind bushes and such. Ron and Pansy looked ecstatic about being together. But it wasn't the date they were worried about. It was after.

"But what are they going to do when they find out?" moaned Hermione, twisting her hands fretfully.

"I don't know!" Evvy snapped apprehensively.

"How are we going to stop them from leaving when they find out?"

"We'll be in the Room of Requirement, and lock the door once they enter, and take off the spell there."

"Perfect! But when are they coming back?"

"Not sure."

"But what's going to happen if they still don't like each other anyway?"

"I don't know."

"But-"

"Shut up! You're giving me a headache!"

"…"

"That's better."

"But-"

"NO BUTS!"

….

Evvy and Hermione met the 'couple' with forced smiles on their faces. Hermione was still wringing her hands nervously.

"Hey you guys," Evvy said through gritted teeth. "I trust you had a good date. A perfectly normal, non-violent date."

"Right…" said Ron, but he didn't look at her. If fact, neither of them had turned their heads once. They just kept staring into each other's eyes.

"Ok, follow us. We're going to take the spell off in a special room," Hermione said in a strange, high-pitched voice. Neither Ron nor Pansy seemed to notice.

They all walked up to the fifth floor, Ron and Pansy's eyes never leaving each other.

Evvy stopped. "Ok, you two are seriously starting to freak me out."

"What are we doing?" they chorused, still staring at one another.

"Staring! You haven't looked away once! How do you get around?"

"We're smart," Ron said after a moment's pause.

Pansy laughed uproariously. "Smart…" she gasped.

Ron turned bright red, and they continued on.

Evvy yanked open the door to the Room of Requirement, and motioned for the others to step inside. They all entered, and after locking all five huge, heavy bolts, she joined them on a red satin couch.

"Ok," said Evvy, who was quite nervous at this point. Hermione, however was beyond nervous. Her eyes were rolling in her head and she was bouncing in her seat. Evvy continued, trying to ignore her continuous thumping. "You're both going to see who the other is."

"Right," intervened Hermione quickly. "This may come as a shock to you, so I beg of you, no kicking-"

"-screaming-"

"-hitting-"

"-fractures-"

"-mild concussions-"

"-heavy concussions-"

"-paralyzed bodies-"

"We get the point!" snapped Pansy.

"Yeah!" added Ron. "I don't care who Ashley is, because no matter what, I'll always love her!"

Silence greeted this. All of them, including Ron himself, was shocked.

Eventually, Pansy spoke. "That's so romantic!" she cried.

"It's just how I feel," Ron said uncomfortably. Then he leaned forward and said anxiously, "Is that okay?"

In reply, Pansy seized him and kissed him deeply.

"I'll take that as a yes," Ron said in a hoarse voice, and kissed her back.

Evvy and Hermione stared at them, at each other, then back at them.

"It's so romantic!" they cried in unison, and fell into each other's arms, sobbing uncontrollably.

Finally Pansy and Ron broke apart. "Ok, we're ready," said Pansy.

"Okay," said Evvy, wiping her eyes, and sniffling a bit. "Now on that note, close your eyes…"

Once they had complied, Evvy traced some symbols in the air and they glowed silver, like ornaments. Then they disappeared in a cloud of smoke. The spell was broken.

"They're so peaceful," said Hermione regretfully.

"Now let's see if it's all worth it," said Evvy bravely. She clapped her hands. "ok, you can open your eyes now."

**Now how was that? Big cliffie!**

**Zeetah-** Oh well. It's okay if you're extremely tired. I want a longer review this time! Lol.

**Cheekymonkey31-** Sweet user name. I love people being manipulative, so that's why I made Evvy that way. Of course, I don't like it when people manipulate me.

**Dracos-naughty-lil-girl-** Yay! Someone's begging! It's okay for not reviewing!

**Emmasnape99-** If you don't understand, then why are you nodding and agreeing? Oh well. Yay for fabulous chapters!

**Dark Angel's Curse-** Someone else begs!Yay! Sorry, but it's a good compliment, so yay! And too bad, another huge cliffie at the end of this chapter. Sorry!

**Zerrin of the Wind-** Well, as you can see, they will be able to see who they are, but not in this chapter! Tee hee!

**Maliaphire-** Yes, the infamous Dumbledore lost his cool! Hahah!

**Rachael-** Right. Books. I WILL remember. Promise.

**Syl Rose-** I told you! I told you!

….

Ask Evvy's Crystal Ball

_Today was a normal day._

_Also known as, total chaos. _

_Tomorrow was the big day, the day the first newspaper was coming out. The news room was a bustle of activity, with people whirling around left and right._

_"Evvy!" screeched Hermione. "Malfoy's not sharing the stapler!"_

_"It's not Malfoy, it's Draco! Draco!" A shower of paper from the ceiling drowned out part of his voice. "You want the bloody stapler? You can have it!"_

_"Owww!" Hermione emerged from the paper storm, clutching at her forehead which was steadily dripping with blood._

_Evvy smacked herself on the forehead. "Hermione, hospital wing! Draco, don't throw staplers!"_

_"Sor_ry_, but she was asking for it!" he yelled._

_"I'm going to choose to ignore that," Evvy muttered. "And whoever's throwing the papers, stop it right now!"_

_"Peeves!" Everybody shouted._

_"Tee hee!"_

….

**Okey-dokey, end of chapter! Hope you enjoyed it, and don't forget: the button calls you. IT CALLS YOU!**


	8. Newspaper Blues, and the bits of Latin

**Disclaimer:** Why, oh why, do these exist? I mean, if I was JK, would I be writing on here? NO! I would be publishing my work. But sadly, I'm not, though JK needs some serious humor in the books.

So…the saga continues of Evvy…

Chapter 8: Newspaper Blues. And the odd bits of Latin thrown in.

Hermione squeezed Evvy's hand in a vise-like grip, her sharp nails almost breaking the skin.

"Hermione," gasped Evvy, suppressing her scream. "Let go! They haven't even opened their eyes yet!"

She was right. They hadn't.

Well, technically, they had, but neither had looked at each other yet. Ron was blinking rapidly, looking like a demented owl, and Pansy was staring off into the space just above Ron's left ear.

Finally, their gazes swiveled to each other, and they locked eyes.

"Pansy?" Ron breathed.

"Ron?" Pansy gasped.

"No way," they said simultaneously.

"Ooh, we're in for it now!" Hermione under her breath. "For the record, I blame you."

"Shut up!" Evvy hissed. Then, louder, she added uncertainly, "Um, yeah way."

Big mistake.

Both of their gazes turned to her, and fixed her with a glare that could have peeled paint. Evvy blanched.

"Ok," said Pansy threateningly. "Who's idea was this?"

Ron, trying to be helpful, added a sweeping glare between Evvy and Hermione.

"ALL RIGHT!" screamed Hermione suddenly.

"Hermione?" asked Ron strangely.

"IT WAS ALL EVVY'S FAULT!"

"Hey!" Evvy said indignantly.

"Well, it _was_," Hermione said, avoiding Evvy's gaze.

Evvy was about to retort when she caught sight of two figures with murderous glares advancing towards her, and decided not to waste her breath.

Oh God, Evvy thought. Please, please, _please_ save me now, and I promise you I'll worship you forever. I'll even go to church for once! I'll set up a private altar in my bedroom, and-

"You set us up!" hissed Pansy shrilly.

Ah well, Evvy thought sadly. It's too late now. But she proceeded to try and save her skin.

"Ok, slow down," Evvy said, getting up and backing away. "Just slow down, and everything will be okay-" A thump told her that she had hit the wall. "Okay, maybe not."

She put her hands over her head. "Please don't kill me! I'll explain everything!"

"Damn right you're gonna explain everything!" spat Ron.

"You knew from the start that we were enemies!" added Pansy.

"But you had fun didn't you?" said Evvy.

"Just answer the question!" Pansy poked her.

Sudden inspiration struck, and Evvy barreled forward. "Pansy, you were raving in love after the first date, weren't you?"

Pansy stopped, looking suddenly uncomfortable, and scuffed a shoe against the wood floor.

Evvy grinned. I struck a nerve, she thought. "And Ron, didn't you have to be bribed to shut up about her?"

Ron stared at her, then looked up at the ceiling intensely. Evvy was thoroughly enjoying herself by then.

"You guys had a great time together!"

Ron scratched his nose, and Pansy studied Evvy's robes.

"You guys had a ton in common too! And didn't you have a great time telling stories? And laughing?"

They were both frowning by now, and Hermione snickered in the background.

"Anyone?"

"Well, I guess I had an okay time," said Pansy timidly.

"Okay?" Evvy let out a bark of laughter.

Pansy closed her mouth.

"Ron, what happened to 'I'll love you no matter who you are'?"

Complete and utter silence greeted this.

Evvy took a huge breath and lay gasping against the wall. She hadn't taken a breath the entire time.

Finally, Pansy turned to Ron, tears in her eyes. "Well?"

"Do you love me?"

-Rons Pov-

Ron stared at Pansy, thoughts flashing through his head. He remembered their dates, how much fun they had, all the running and laughing. Their first kiss was that day. It had been snowing, and they were standing in front of the Shrieking Shack. He had leaned forward, and then…he remembered how right it felt, yet so weird. How weird that he could kiss someone that he couldn't see. But now he could see her. What type of fool was he to let go of all of those fond memories? He put her face in that blank spot, and he smiled. He knew what he had to do.

-End Rons Pov-

Evvy watched the two, breath caught in her throat as time stood still.

Ron stared deep into Pansy's eyes, and said one word.

"Duh."

They both laughed, and kissed each other fiercely. They were officially in love.

"It's so romantic!" cried Hermione, and burst into tears.

….

Evvy leaned back in her chair, content. The embers in the fire flickered and danced as she smiled.

Hermione came in and sat next to her. "Ah, what a beautiful day. Wasn't it so sweet? Back at the room?"

"No thanks to you," Evvy grumbled.

Hermione faked a hurt look, and Evvy shook her head.

They had left Ron and Pansy back in the Room of Requirement, snogging their faces off.

"Anyway," continued Evvy, "I'm thinking about asking Ginny to join the newspaper, so Harry doesn't have to work on the sports section all on his lonesome."

"Hey, that's great! You should!" Then her eyes narrowed. "Wait…are oyu trying to set people up again?"

Evvy looked at her with wide eyes, trying to appear as innocent as possible. "Oh no, Mistress Hermione. I wouldn't dare do such a thing!"

Hermione sniggered. "Yeah, right. You want to set up Harry and Ginny, right?"

Evvy dropped the look. "You caught me red-handed."

"So, what plans do you have?"

Evvy sighed. "None, at the moment. Besides asking Ginny to help, of course."

Hermione settled back in her chair. "Ok. I'll try to think of something."

"Thanks."

Evvy pulled out the list of people to set up.

Ron/Pansy

Harry/Ginny

Draco/Hermione

Millicent/Adam

Dad/DADA teacher

McGonagall/Dumbledore

She sighed fondly and crossed Ron and Pansy off the list.

"Hey, what's that?" said Hermione, leaning over Evvy's shoulder.

Evvy hurriedly stuffed the list into her pocket. "Nothing!"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Right."

"It's true!" Evvy insisted.

"I know you're lying, but I'm too tired to argue. I think I'll go down to the library."

Hermione exited through the portrait hole, and disappeared.

Evvy sighed and wiped her forehead. That was a close one, she thought. I'd better be sneakier in the future. Evvy peeked at the list again. The one after Harry and Ginny was Hermione and Draco. If Hermione had seen that…Evvy didn't even want to think about it.

She frowned. There was something missing from the moment. She had everything she needed, fire, cozy chair, plans of manipulation, friends.

She snapped her fingers. Friends. She missed her Slytherin friends. Blaise, Draco, Millicent, Pansy-though she probably wasn't available, all of them.

Evvy supposed she could go visit them, but…on the other hand, she had plans to put into action. After all, who was going to fix up the lovebirds when she was gone?

Evvy hurried out the portrait hole for dinner. Harry and Ginny won't be that hard; they're half in love already. They just don't know it yet. Now, it was just a matter of manipulation, a touch of love…and poof! We got ourselves a couple.

She rubbed her hands together in anticipation, and nearly fell down some moving stairs.

….

Evvy sat down on Ginny's right, rubbing her head. "Bloody stairs," she muttered. "What do they have to move for anyway?"

Still grumbling, she grabbed a hamburger and some fries, and filled up her plate. After a nice, long gulp of pumpkin juice, she wiped her mouth and decided to talk to Ginny.

"Hey Ginny," Evvy said.

Ginny jumped about a foot into the air and stuffed what looked suspiciously like a journal under her seat cushion. Blushing furiously, she turned around. "Hey Evvy," she said, still red. "What's up?"

"Well," said Evvy, swallowing a mouthful of food. "I was wondering if-"

Ron sat down with a bang next to her, looking utterly exhausted. "Food," he said hoarsely and grabbed the next thing and shoved it in his mouth. It happened to be Evvy's fries.

"Hey!" Evvy said.

Ron, too busy stuffing his face, didn't look up.

"It's no use," Ginny said, rolling her eyes. "Boys. It's ALL about their stomachs."

Evvy grinned, and took some more fries. She shoved Ron, and while he nearly choked, she said, "Get your own plate."

Ron scowled sourly, and grabbed a burger, tearing a huge chunk out of it.

"So, you were saying?" said Ginny, directing Evvy's attention back at her.

"Well, I was wondering if you wanted to help out with the newspaper. You know, so Harry doesn't have to do the entire sports section by himself. He's having a bit of trouble ironing out a few wrinkles in his articles, so I thought since you play Quidditch too, and you come from a family of huge fans of the game, you would be perfect. Unless you'd rather not…" Evvy took a huge bite and waited apprehensively for her answer. If Ginny agreed, it would be perfect for Harry's and her relationship.

"That'd be great!" Ginny gushed.

Evvy let out a breath she didn't know she was holding, and took a swig of pumpkin juice.

"So when do I start?"

"Just go to the Room of Requirement after dinner today, and I'll start you up!" Evvy told her.

"Great!"

That night, everyone stood outside the room, and they waited impatiently for Evvy to let them in.

"Okay, you guys, Ginny's going to join the paper," Evvy said. Harry, Ron, and Hermione smiled, and Ginny gave a little wave. "Harry, Ginny's going to help you on the sports section."

"That'd be great! I do need a bit of help on it," Harry admitted.

Ginny beamed.

"Let's get cracking!" Evvy shouted, and they all ran inside.

Everyone took their seats, and immediately the usual arguments broke out.

"Draco, I _told_ you to finish the article on Professor Trelawney yesterday!" said Hermione exasperatedly.

"There's nothing to write!" Draco yelled. "Whadaya want me to do, write 'She's an old batty idiot' over and over?"

Hermione nodded thoughtfully. "That could work."

"I was being sarcastic, Mudblood!"

"Oh, please! Like I wasn't?"

"Evvy!" yelled Draco. "Granger's starting on me again!"

Evvy ground her teeth and walked over to the squabbling co-partners. "Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam!" she scolded.

They both looked up at her with confused expressions. "What the hell does that mean?"

"You don't know?" Evvy asked, pretending to be shocked.

"Uh…no," said Hermione.

"Ooh, look, you don't know something for once in your life!" teased Draco.

"Tum podem extulit horridulum!" Evvy said.

"What?" they both chorused.

"Bene, cum Latine nescias, nolo manus meas in temaculare!" Evvy sniffed.

"WHAT?"

Evvy sighed. "Ok, the first one was: I have a catapult. Give me all your money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head; the second one was: You are talking shit; and the third one was: Well, if you don't understand plain Latin, I'm not going to dirty my hands on you."

Hermione frowned. "That doesn't make sense!"

"Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur," Evvy shrugged.

"Huh?"

"Anything said in Latin sounds profound."

"Why do you speak in Latin?" said Draco, wrinkling his nose up.

"Latine loqui coactus sum," Evvy told him.

They stared at her blankly.

"I have this compulsion to speak in Latin."

"Ok…"

"Latine dictum." Evvy said. (A/N: Spoken in Latin)

"Will you please stop speaking in friggin' Latin?" yelled Draco.

"Rident stolidi verba Latina," Evvy said stiffly. (A/N: Fools laugh at the Latin language.)

"You're speaking in Latin again," Hermione said.

"Vah! Denuone Latine loquebar? Me ineptum. Inter dum modo elabitu!." Evvy smacked her forehead. (A/N: Oh! Was I speaking Latin again? Silly me. Sometimes it just sort of slips out!)

"WHAT?" they yelled.

Evvy just smiled and walked off. As they stared after her, Evvy thought, that sure took care of that problem.

Meanwhile, Pansy and Ron were making out in the back. Evvy walked over to them and slammed her hand down on the desk. They jumped apart, blushing furiously.

"Homo nudus cum nuda iacebat!" Evvy said slyly.

"What?" said Pansy, fixing her hair.

"Naked they lie together, man and woman."

Ron immediately turned red, and Pansy swiped her blush across her face, leaving a huge pink streak in her surprise.

"Evvy," said Rom weakly. "You really…"

"Oh, but I do," Evvy said. She walked away, saying, "Oh, how I love Latin!"

She went over to Ginny and Harry to see how they were doing. They were doing fine, but just for fun she decided to confuse them.

"Te audire non possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure." She smiled mischievously.

"Er…come again?" Harry said.

"Te audire non possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure," Evvy repeated.

"Why are you speaking in…whatever language you're speaking in?" asked Ginny, looking at her weirdly.

"First of all, it's Latin," Evvy told them. "And second of all, I said 'I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear.'"

They all laughed, and Evvy sat back down at her desk.

"Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre?" Blaise asked her.

Evvy looked at him blankly. "What?"

"Is that a scroll in your toga, or are you just happy to see me?" Blaise said, smirking.

"Ewwww!" Evvy said, disgusted.

Blaise laughed.

"One, I'm not a boy, and two, Latin's my language!" Evvy said, smiling, yet still utterly repulsed. (A/n: You guys get it, right? Scroll, happy to see you, boy…get it?)

"Well, it looks like I stole it from you," Blaise said lightly.

They spent the rest of the time joking around, and once it was over, Blaise walked up with her to the Gryffindor Tower as they laughed and talked.

Once they were at the portrait hole, Blaise stopped. "Well, that was really fun," He said, brushing a strand of blond hair out of his eyes.

"Yeah," Evvy agreed. "I missed you and everyone."

Blaise grinned.

"You know, you're talking to me a lot more than you used to," Evvy said, frowning a bit. "Why were you so quiet?"

Blaise sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "I'm just not good with new people, all right?" He turned abruptly and started to leave.

"Wait!" Evvy called after him.

He turned, his shimmering emeralds boring into her silver orbs. Her breath caught in her throat. Then he whirled around and left, leaving her standing alone in front of the portrait hole.

….

Today was a normal day.

Also known as, complete chaos.

Tomorrow was the big day, the day the first newspaper was going to come out. The room was a bustle of activity, with people whirling around left and right.

"Evvy!" Hermione screeched. "Malfoy's not sharing the stapler!"

"It's not Malfoy, it's Draco! Draco!" A shower of paper from the ceiling partly drowned out his voice. "You want the bloody stapler? You can have it!"

"Owwwww!" Hermione emerged from the paper storm clutching her forehead, which was steadily dripping with blood.

Evvy smacked herself on the forehead. "Hermione, hospital wing! Draco, don't throw staplers!"

"Sor_ry_, but she was asking for it!" he yelled back.

"I'm choosing to ignore that," Evvy muttered. "And whoever's throwing papers, stop it right now!" she yelled.

"Peeves!" Everyone yelled.

"Tee hee!"

"Get down here, you friggin' poltergeist!" yelled Draco, and grabbed a nearby umbrella that had just appeared and brandished it in the air.

Peeves appeared, gloating and cackling, and blew a huge wet raspberry at him, which sent Draco into a frenzy. He whacked the umbrella every where, and when he did hit Peeves, it didn't really matter, for it went right through him.

"Ha ha, ickle Malfoy boy can't hit Peevesies!"

Draco growled and swung his umbrella around too far, sending him into a heap on the floor.

Peeves smirked and grabbed the umbrella, and proceeded to whack the boy, and of course, this didn't go through him.

Hermione sighed. "It's a beautiful song. 'Whack, ow, whack, ow, whack, ow," she sang. "Especially when Malfoy's the one going 'ow!'"

"Mudblood! How many times do I have to tell you? It's DRACO!" he seized the umbrella from Peeves, and proceeded to whack Hermione.

"_When there's strife and when there's trouble, call on Peevesie, he'll make double!_" sang Peeves in a singsong voice.

Evvy screamed inside her head, and ran to the back of the room, where she found another no-working couple. Well, maybe they _weren't_ working for the newspaper, but they certainly _were_ working for each other's pleasure.

"You guys!" Evvy screeched. "I'm going to have to stop your partnership in this newspaper if all you do is snog! Now, if you guys don't actually work, you'll be sorry I set you up!"

"When is the newspaper coming out?" asked Ron sleepily.

"Tomorrow!"

"Crap!" he yelled. "Pansy, we gotta get to work!"

"'Kay," said Pansy. "Just let me get a few-"

"No, NOW!" yelled Evvy.

"Okay, okay," said Pansy, disgruntled. "You don't have to be such a sourpuss about it."

Evvy rolled her eyes, and went over to the only sane person she knew: Blaise.

Evvy threw herself down in a chair, and looked at him. "Ugh, I never thought it'd be this much trouble to run a newspaper."

Blaise didn't look up, and continued working on his article.

"Er…Blaise?" Evvy said, snapping her fingers in front of his face. "Hello?"

He didn't even blink.

"What's up with you? What did I do to make you ignore me like this?"

Nothing.

"Still ignoring me, I see.

Same reaction.

"Look, if was about last night, I'm sorry. I really am."

Nothing.

Evvy finally blew her top. "What's your problem?" she yelled. "First you won't say a word to me, then you get all hissy at me, then we become friends, and now you're back to being a silent geek! What's next, a torpedo in my bed?"

Blaise looked up at her, his eyes hard.

Evvy saw the hurt in his eyes, and lay back in her chair. "Look, I'm sorry, I'm having a really hard day, and-"

"And you've decided to take it out on me?" Blaise murmured.

"No…well, sort of. There was the stapler, Peeves, then Pansy and Ron-I guess I just overreacted," Evvy said, pushing her hair back.

Blaise shook his head and resumed his work without another word.

"Boys," Evvy muttered. "I'll never get used to 'em."

"I heard that," said Blaise, cracking a little grin.

"Well, I won't," Evvy retorted.

"That's because boys are _so_ much better than girls," Blaise teased.

Evvy raised her eyebrows. "Oh yeah? Show me."

He did.

"Owwww!"

"That," said Blaise, as Evvy rubbed her head fiercely, "shows that boys are stronger than girls. MUCH stronger."

Ok, filler chappy, I know. Well, at least you learned some latin! Xoxo, Mel 

**Syl Rose-** Thanks for the laughs! Anyway, about Hermione and Draco, I sorta got a problem like them too. U know, you love someone who u hate and they hate you back? Yeah, I sorta like my enemy. Great huh?

**Zeetah-** Yay, more laughs! And yeah, I like her personality too. You know, kind with a temper, and violent but not to violent?

**Dracos-naughty-lil-girl-** Yeah, they are pretty cute!

**Maliaphire- **It's okay if it's a short review! You take German? Is it fun?

**Dancegirlem24-** Hey Tori! Anyhow, u don't have to keep saying who you are. I know your un. Ps. You spelled my name wrong. Melissa.

**Emmasnape99-** Haha, you nod when you don't understand! Jk, jk. Yeah, I know that it was kinda short, but I felt like making them a small couple, like a small chapter couple. Don't worry, the next couple will take a lot more time. It's the Hermione/Draco one, and I have a good idea. I'm thinking on making my next story focus on them in this little conflict. Wait…what's ATOLS again?

**Zerrin of the Wind-** Yeah, I never thought about it before, until I read a one-shot about it, so I decided to put it in my story.

**On top of cloud 9-** Hey, I'm happy you read this story! And you seem to like it a lot, lol.

Hey, you guys, I'm gonna be in Washington DC this weekend, so it may take me a bit longer to update than usual. Just a warning.

….

Ask Evvy's Crystal Globe

_"Weasley and Parkinson." Apparently Valentine's Day wasn't going to sweeten Snape's mood. Hermione watched as Ron and Pansy walked over to their cauldron sulkily, but when Snape turned away, they started to make out. Hermione stared at them, and they didn't stop._

_"Draco and Granger."_

_Hermione frowned and walked over to Malfoy, disgusted. It was bad enough that they had to work together during newspaper. It's was Valentine's Day too! Why couldn't Snape give them a break?_

_"So Mudblood," said Draco, tipping his chair back. "Long time, no see."_

_"Just shut up so we can finish this Switchery potion! I'm not having you ruin my Valentine's Day!" she said forcefully, and opened the book._

_"Oh, we have a boyfriend now, do we?" He smirked at her outraged expression, and started to chop up the toad's legs._

_"No, and if I did, I wouldn't tell you!" Hermione struggled to keep her voice down as she stirred in the unicorn tail._

_"Which obviously means you have one," Draco said, and added the hamstring of a newt._

_She glared at him and smashed the monkshood roots harder, and dropped them into the cauldron, which was now a bright green sheen._

_"Well, since you have a lover, I shall guess who it is," continued Draco._

_Hermione's face turned red as she struggled to ignore his, as she slammed the beetle's eyes into the cauldron so ferociously that it almost tipped over._

_"Let's see…Weasley?"_

_Her hands shook as they tuned the page._

_"Potter?"_

_Her hands gripped the knife ever tighter as she slashed at the gooseberries._

_"Or perhaps…Longbottom?"_

_She slammed the pestle down, and the board it landed on flew into the air. "You know what-" she hissed._

_But he never found out what she was going to say, for her eyes fastened in horror on the one ingredient heading for the cauldron while Draco was oblivious to it's descent. He saw it now as he lunged for it-and missed._

_The cauldron exploded with the force of a thousand elephants, knocking them off their feet and an orange mist issued out of the cauldron. They blacked out._

….

**Suspense, suspense! The crystal ball never lies!**

**Well, press the tiny button for a smoothie, and review!**

**Mel**


	9. Sweetheart's Day or Switchheart's Day?

**Disclaimer:** Noooo Harry Potter does not belong to me.

Sorry about updating. Spazy week!

And yes, the Latin is real.

Chapter 9: Valentine's Day: Sweethearts' Day or Switchhearts' Day?

Evvy looked at Blaise and shook her head. "No, no, no," she shook her finger at him. "Nobody hits the editor."

"Oh really?" He smirked.

"Really really." Evvy waved her wand, and a loud popping noise emerged.

Blaise stared at her. "Nothing happened."

"That's what you think," Evvy told him, and turned him around to face the full-length mirror that had just appeared.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Blaise screeched.

"Exactly."

For big bunny ears and a bunny tail had appeared on him, and they were big and white.

"Take them off now," Blaise hissed.

"Nah, I don't feel like it," Evvy said off-handedly.

"Take them off NOW!"

"That's what you get for hitting the editor," Evvy shrugged and turned away.

An odd strangled noise came from Blaise and he lunged forward, but Evvy ducked just in time. Then she dashed off, screaming and running around the room.

"I WILL GET YOU!" screamed Blaise.

Evvy ducked beneath a desk and muttered another spell. A weird globe appeared and shaped itself around her. She stood up with a satisfied look as Blaise launched himself forward, hit the bubble, and fell.

He stood up and rammed into the shield again and again, but it didn't help.

Evvy couldn't help just a little jibe. "Ha, ha, you can't get me."

Blaise mock-growled.

"Here, I'll take off the tail…but the ears stay."

"Awwww, come on," whined Blaise. He made puppy-dog eyes.

Evvy smiled sweetly, and the tail was gone. Blaise relaxed; that had started to itch. But then he remembered the ears and groaned.

"Bye-bye bunny," Evvy teased. Then she clapped her hands, and yelled, "Staff dismissed!"

….

Ok, you guys, change of scene. Most of this chapter will either be from Draco or Hermione's POV

"Hermione," said a far-off voice. "Hermione, wake up."

Hermione felt a sharp poke in her elbow. She groaned and rolled over. "Stop it, pen," she muttered in her sleep. "I'm supposed to be holding you."

The pokes stopped and she heard some muffled whispering and disappearing footsteps. Suddenly the footsteps came back, and a torrent of water was dumped over her heard.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Hermione shrieked and jumped up, wildly looking around for the culprit. Her eyes focused on Ginny Weasley, who was sitting at the foot of her bed, hold a big blue bucket.

"You," Hermione hissed.

Ginny smiled back cheerfully. "It's Valentine's Day, Hermione!"

Hermione paid no attention to that comment and grabbed her wand, which was on her bedside table. She stood up, breathing heavily. Ginny was starting to look worried. "Hermione," she said cautiously. "What are you doing?"

Hermione searched her brain for the perfect idea, and smiled. Viciously. She laid down her wand.

"Oh good," said Ginny, sounding relieved. "I was starting to get worried."

Hermione opened her drawer and searched through the contents. This should do it, she thought, and stood up again.

"On second thought," said Ginny nervously. "Maybe I should be worried."

Hermione whipped out her weapon. It was a big pink frilly bow that sang out-of-tune songs.

"Is that what I think it is?" Ginny said, backing away.

"Yes," said Hermione evilly.

Ginny screamed and ran. It was Fred and George's new invention: Incredibly Sticky and Frilly Bows. No matter how much you pull, it won't come off, until maybe a day or so later. And being huge and frilly, it was certainly the most annoying thing after Pansy Parkinson.

"Ahhhhhhhh!" Ginny screamed, darting around a couple of beds as the others stared. "Beware of the pink!"

Out of the corner of Hermione's eye, she saw Evvy shake her head at Lavender, and say, "And to think that could have been you." They both shuddered.

Soon they were all dressed and down in the Gryffindor common room, Ginny looking rather grumpy. Ron and Harry came out of the boy's dorm, and walked over to them. Harry stared at the top of Ginny's head in surprise.

"Ginny," he said, sounding puzzled, "May I ask why there is a big pink bow on the top of your head."

"I don't want to talk about it," said Ginny tightly, as Hermione stifled her laughter behind one hand. Harry shrugged and pulled Hermione aside.

"She poured water on me to wake me up," Hermione said instantly, and Harry winced.

"Enough said. Just don't do anything else, okay?" Harry said. (A/N: Ooh, signs of lurrrrve.)

"Only if she doesn't do anything else to me," Hermione said, smirking.

Harry shook his head. "Malfoy's starting to rub off on you."

"I have an extra bow, you know," Hermione said innocently.

Harry started, and shut up.

They all wandered down to the hall, talking amiably about the newspaper, which was coming out later that day.

Ron threw open the double doors, and screamed, "My eyes! They burnnnnnnnnnnnnn!" He ran and dove underneath the Gryffindor table, and cowered there, shivering in fear. The others just stood there in horror.

Everything was pink. A bit of red and white, yes, but mostly a horrific shade of pink. Hearts were everywhere, along with bows, frills, and any other imaginable Valentine-y type of things. All the teachers had flowers in their hair-yes, _pink_ flowers-and Professor Snape looked extremely displeased, and the flowers in his hair were bent, as though they had been forced there. A large pink bow, not unlike Ginny's, was stuck on his forehead. A huge banner sparkling in different colors of-god, I'm getting tired of writing this word-_pink,_ and shedding confetti on the heads of everyone that stood under it.

"Oh…my…god," whispered Harry. "When did Lockhart get back from the insanity ward?"

"I don't know, but he's going back soon," said Hermione wrathfully, and the others nodded their heads in agreement. They walked over to the Gryffindor table, shaking the confetti out of their hair and eyes, and sat down.

The door opened again, and Draco and Blaise walked in, talking earnestly. Then they stopped suddenly, and stared.

"What," hissed Draco angrily, "did you do to my godfather?"

He strode over to the High table and plucked at the bow on Snape's head.

"Hey, I can't see!" Ron's muffled voice come out from under the table.

"You should've thought of that when you dove under there!" Hermione whispered fiercely, and turned her attention back to the scene.

"I did it myself Draco," Snape said with a glazed look on his face. Draco stared at him suspiciously. "I did. Now, go sit down and eat. I'm not going to stand for this hanging around nonsense."

Draco and Blaise cast him one more look, and sat down at their table, next to Pansy, who was screaming about how she was nearly out of blush.

Hermione chuckled; she had seen Professor McGonagall move her wand, and Snape looked quite confused at the moment.

"Harry, Hermione, Evvy, Ginny," said a small voice. "I'm stuck."

They all sighed and look underneath the table. Ron was, indeed, stuck. He had tried to get out by wriggling out from under the bench, but he was too big and only his head was sticking out.

"I'm in a very uncomfortable position here, so would you please hurry up?" he squeaked.

"Then we'll just leave you here," said Ginny, standing up and brushing her hands off on her robes. She went back to eating.

"Come on Gin," whined Ron. "It's not _my_ fault that Hermione got you with that bow-"

"SHUT UP!" shrieked Ginny.

Ron wrinkled his nose and looked away. "Of all the ungrateful little-"

Ginny banged down her fork and knife and glared at him menacingly.

He blanched. "On the other hand, never mind," he said quickly. And then to the others, he screeched, "Will you hurry up, people? I'm getting a wedgie here!"

Evvy winced. "Too much information!"

Ron rolled his eyes. "Just get one with it!"

Hermione heaved a sigh, and the three of them-not including Ginny, who was still in a huff about the bow comment-grabbed Ron's legs on the other side and yanked.

"Owwww!" Ron howled.

"Such a gracious thank you," muttered Evvy, and Hermione agreed whole-heartedly. Ron shot Hermione a scandalized look as he sat down, rubbing his backside. Hermione smiled sweetly, and looked down to see what the were having for breakfast. Cranberry juice, heart-shaped raspberry pancakes, waffles with pink sprinkles, raspberry and strawberry syrup… She grimaced, and scarfed down a couple of waffles before she felt like hurling. She slammed down her utensils and yelled. "I can't take it anymore!"

Everyone stared at her.

"Why is everything so pink?" she shrieked.

"It's Valentine's Day," said Dumbledore kindly, his eyes twinkling merrily. "You know, the holiday that-"

"I can't stand it!" Hermione interrupted, frustrated.

"You win," said Dumbledore to Professor McGonagall, and handed her a few Sickles. McGonagall took them with a satisfied look on her face.

"What just happened?" asked Hermione suspiciously.

"Minerva bet that you would be the first to crack," Dumbledore explained. "I thought that Mr. Malfoy would."

"Technically, _I _was the first one," volunteered Ron, who, by the look of it, had no trouble at all eating pink.

"Oh, honestly!" said Hermione, and she picked up her bag and strode out of the hall angrily.

Over at the Slytherin table, Draco was having another problem. It's name was Pansy Parkinson.

"Oh, Draco, should I kiss Ron?" Pansy dithered. "Or should I wait until the hall is cleared? Or should I profess my love to him first and _then_ kiss him? OR should I sing it in a song-"

Draco shuddered at this option.

"OR should I wait until the hall is cleared? I don't want my reputation ruined. But we _are_ going out, so I suppose they _should_ get used to it. But do I really want to do it now, of all times?"

Draco sighed. This was getting really, _really_ annoying.

"Well, it _is_ Valentine's Day, so I suppose it would be perfect. But what if they make a mob and try to kill us? I better ready an escape pod just in case-"

Draco screwed up his face in agony, and Blaise patted him on the shoulder sympathetically and offered him earplugs. Draco waved them away. He was a Malfoy. He _would _get through this.

"-but then it might break. I should get two. But what it the next one doesn't work either? Three, maybe. But if that doesn't work-"

It was getting really hard to get through this.

"-then I guess we shall have to make a run for it. But I'm not a good runner. What if I stumble?"

He was close to breaking point.

"I should enchanted my shoes so I won't stumble! Non-Stumble Shoes, I shall call them! But what if the charm is faulty?"

Really, really,_ really_ close.

"I also won't be able to run that far. I lose energy much to fast, you know-"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Draco screamed, and dashed out of the Great Hall.

"What?" said Pansy, dumbfounded. "Was it something I said?"

Draco threw himself down the stairs, and screeched to a halt. Granger, he thought and rolled his eyes.

"Hello, Mudblood," he said, weirdly cheerful, falling into step with her.

"Ferret," she acknowledged him. Then she added, "Whatcha so happy about, arsehole? That pink is enough to make anybody crazy." There were dots all over her vision.

"I'm touched," he said.

"Why?"

"Never mind."

"Go away."

"No."

"Why?"

"It's fun annoying you."

"You are also enough to drive anybody crazy." Hermione rolled her eyes and walked faster. He kept up the pace.

"What do you want?" she shouted angrily, patience worn thin. "First the water in the bed, then the pink, and now you! What is this? Out to Get Hermione Day?" She ran down the dungeon stairs to Potions.

"I like the sound of that holiday," said Draco, smirking.

Hermione turned, livid with rage, and slapped him. She swept off, leaving him holding his cheek and cursing.

"Filthy little Mudblood! How dare she touch me!" he cursed, slowly descending down the stairs. "I'll make her pay!"

….

"Weasley and Parkinson." Apparently Valentine's Day wasn't going to sweeten Snape's mood. Hermione watched as Ron and Pansy walked over to their cauldron sulkily, but when Snape turned away, they started to make out. Hermione stared at them, and they didn't stop.

"Draco and Granger."

Hermione frowned and walked over to Malfoy, disgusted. It was bad enough that they had to work together during newspaper. It's was Valentine's Day too! Why couldn't Snape give them a break?

"So Mudblood," said Draco, tipping his chair back. "Long time, no see."

"Just shut up so we can finish this Switchery potion! I'm not having you ruin my Valentine's Day!" she said forcefully, and opened the book.

"Oh, we have a boyfriend now, do we?" He smirked at her outraged expression, and started to chop up the toad's legs.

"No, and if I did, I wouldn't tell you!" Hermione struggled to keep her voice down as she stirred in the unicorn tail.

"Which obviously means you have one," Draco said, and added the hamstring of a newt.

She glared at him and smashed the monkshood roots harder, and dropped them into the cauldron, which was now a bright green sheen.

"Well, since you have a lover, I shall guess who it is," continued Draco.

Hermione's face turned red as she struggled to ignore his, as she slammed the beetle's eyes into the cauldron so ferociously that it almost tipped over.

"Let's see…Weasley?"

Her hands shook as they tuned the page.

"Potter?"

Her hands gripped the knife ever tighter as she slashed at the gooseberries.

"Or perhaps…Longbottom?"

She slammed the pestle down, and the board it landed on flew into the air. "You know what-" she hissed.

But he never found out what she was going to say, for her eyes fastened in horror on the one ingredient heading for the cauldron while Draco was oblivious to it's descent. He saw it now as he lunged for it-and missed.

The cauldron exploded with the force of a thousand elephants, knocking them off their feet and an orange mist issued out of the cauldron. They blacked out.

….

"Oy," groaned Draco, and sat up groggily, clutching his head. He looked around him dizzily. Two face came into focus: Harry Potter and Ron Weasley.

Potty? Weasel? Why the hell are they concerned about me? Draco wondered.

"Hermione?" said Ron anxiously.

"Are you okay?" added Harry.

Draco laughed. "Who are you kidding? I'm Draco!"

Harry and Ron exchanged significant looks.

"She's delirious," whispered Ron.

"We'd better get her to the hospital wing," agreed Harry.

"You think I can't hear you? _You've_ gotta be crazy!" Draco said, smirking. "What's with all this Mudblood stuff? I told you, I'm Draco Malfoy!"

"Hermione," said Ron cautiously. "You are having hallucinations. I think you'd better-"

Harry held out a hand. "Wait, Ron."

Ron looked at him. "Yeah?"

"She's smirking. Almost like-"

"Malfoy," Ron breathed.

Draco rolled his eyes, and threw up his hands. "Finally! They understand! God, you dumbarses are about as thick as Crabbe and-"

He stopped abruptly. Whoa, he thought, staring at his hands. These aren't mine. He looked down. Those shoes...they aren't mine. Socks, not mine, robes-ewwww, Gryffindor colors-not mine, boobs, not mine-hey, these are kinda nice! He felt them a little bit, aware that Harry and Ron were watching him, then put his hands up to his face. He seized a lock of his platinum blonde hair-or what _used_ to be platinum blonde hair. It's all brown and wavy and-

"EWWWWW I'M GRANGER!" he shrieked, and ran to the nearest mirror. Hermione's face stared back at him. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he sobbed.

Meanwhile, Hermione was having the same discovery.

"You can't be serious!" she yelled at dumbfounded Blaise and Pansy. "Is this some kind of sick joke or something? Cuz it isn't funny!"

She ran over to where she heard Draco's voice wailing. Good, she thought. At least I have my own voice. She suddenly noticed what was hanging between her legs. Oh…my…god…ewwwwwwwwww! She shrieked inside her head, and then tried to calm herself down. Ok, I am not going to think about it. Breathe, Hermione, breathe.

She ran over to herself and grabbed her 'clone' by the shoulders.

"GET…OUT…OF…MY…BODY!" she screamed, shaking the Draco/Hermione person by the shoulders.

"Hey, I can't help it!" said Draco's voice angrily. It sounds so weird coming out of _my_ body, thought Hermione in Draco's body unhappily.

Then the Draco in Hermione's body's (A/N: Ok, I am having abbreviations. Draco in Hermione's body: DIHB, and when I want to say 'him' is say HS because he ins a he in a she's body. Hermione in Draco's body: HIDB, and when I want to say she, I will say SH because she is a she in a he's body. Get it?) expression changed. "Whoa," DIHB said. "I look _good_." HS picked up a lock of HIDB's hair and fingered it.

HIDB smacked HS's hand away. "Stop! We need to get somebody who can fix this!"

They looked at each other and shouted one word:

"PROFESSOR SNAPE!"

**Ok, short chapter, and I haven't updated in ages. I am so sorry! October was a busy month for me. Happy Halloween, btw. I hope you like this chapter! I did! Oh, and no crystal ball today. You'll just have to guess! **

**On top of cloud 9-** I knew you would like this story! Did you like this chapter? I loved it!

**Dancegirlem24-** It's okay about my name. I hope this will make you more anxious to find out what happens next!

**Dracos-naughty-lil-girl-** Thanx!

**Zeetah-** I'm amazing? Really? Awww, thanks. How does he shoot the staples? That seems kinda hard to do, you know? Well, I found it online. Just type in 'buyer beware-Latin' and click the first link. A thousand Latin phrases are on there. Latin is the awesomest lingo eva!

**Maliaphire-** Good point…I don't think he would. But Draco would probably just pretend that he knew what a stapler was just to prove that he was as smart as Hermione. Crazy German teacher? What's she like? I don't get the "my friend has this new rpg site so please register its http/queenie3001" thing. Care to explain?

**Emmasnape99- **You don't like smoothies? Oh, well. I hate peanut butter and watermelon. And Draco and Hermione were on Evvy's list. I think so, at least. Yup, they are. Of course I know ATOLS! I just forgot for a sec. Sorry. But you haven't updated in ages! Please please please PLEASE update it!

**Zerrin of the Wind-** Yes, I must leave you with a cliffie. I love cliffies. Except when SOME PEOPLE write them. Aka you. Update your story soon soon SOON!

**TimeMage0955**- Hey Nicola! You didn't pester me. Yet. Maybe you forgot. I shall have to remind you. But why am I reminding you to annoy me? That is a good question. Anyway, I will buy oranges from you, so you know. I just have to ask the 'rents if they want to! Lol.

**Dark Angel's Curse-** Yes, I had to patent it. Lol.

**Rachael-** I tell you once, I tell you twice, I tell you a thousand times, your user name is too long! Anyway. We already went over the thing at school. What do ambiguous mean? And he's nice. I don't love him, but we're friends. Friends!

**OK, did you guys like it? Press the button for double your Halloween candy-if you guys trick-or-treat still.**


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